


Getaway Car

by CaliforniaQueen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aggression, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Emotional Manipulation, Enthusiastic Consent, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Infidelity, Lies of Omission, Masturbation Interruptus, Oral Sex, Poe Dameron Is A Mess, Soft Ben Solo, Unethical business practices, Verbal Abuse, Wh - word
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:54:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 37,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23088121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaliforniaQueen/pseuds/CaliforniaQueen
Summary: Faced with an important decision to make, Rey makes the worst one, and falls into the lap of photographer Ben. What they both learn is that nothing good starts in a getaway car.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 41
Kudos: 73





	1. I Wanted to Leave Him, I Needed a Reason

The click of her boot heels on the black and white marble tile kept in time with the beat of the music playing in Rey Johnson’s earbuds as she walked through the lobby of Wheeler & Johnson Bank on a dreary Tuesday morning in late August. The fog had rolled in like it always did in the city, settling on the entire forty-seven square miles of San Francisco like a wet blanket. She dressed for the foggy weather but layered for whatever rain or sun the unpredictable gods of climate change might throw her way. 

Her comfortable, fashionably mangled designer jeans fit her like a glove, and she paired them with a white tank, cream long-sleeved tee, and a camel-colored coat her boyfriend Poe had given to her on her last birthday. She accessorized her look with mirrored sunglasses and a giant Louis Vuitton bag. Topping off the outfit was Rey's favorite slouchy beanie. Slightly too big for her head, it slipped to the side like a French beret resting on top of her soft, chin-length brown hair. Poe said dress casually for their appointment today, but casual to Rey was utterly subjective. 

The bank was relatively empty, having been open for about an hour. Too late for morning commuters to get business done, too early for afternoon errand runners. There were bored, minimum wage tellers sitting patiently behind their faux bronze framed windows and the small staff of suited businessmen advising young couples who took the day off to meet about their first time home buyer’s loans. 

Rey made her way through the lobby quickly, navigating her well-traveled route to her father’s office. As the daughter of the bank’s owner and the girlfriend of the branch manager, Poe Dameron, Rey had never felt the need to ask for permission to parade through the main branch to see either of the men in her life. She acknowledged the few calls of “Good morning, Miss Johnson” with a wave and a flash of her professionally straightened smile. Arriving at her father’s office, she knocked in time to the beat of Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space,” humming along to the chorus as she opened the door without waiting for admission. 

She paused upon entering, taken aback for a moment when she saw Poe, bank manager of Wheeler & Johnson, and Rian, her father, in an in-depth discussion. Rey had hoped to catch her father alone before seeing Poe, and this surprise put a wrench in her plans. 

Her smile faltered a bit before she spoke in a sing-song voice, “Well, hello there! I hope I’m not interrupting important business?”

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Rian Johnson rose from his chair and came around the other side of his desk to embrace Rey, kissing her cheek before releasing her. “No, this morning, we weren’t discussing work. We were discussing you.” Rian’s eyes twinkled as he smiled at Rey. 

The smile was way too suspicious and hit Rey with a thud. Her stomach dropped as she saw the look on Poe’s face and her father’s pleased as punch expression. This was not going to end well. She gave them a weak smile. 

“Oh?” she asked nervously.

Poe came forward, arms extended to Rey, pulling her into an embrace she was not ready for  _ or _ looking forward to. She stood stiff as a board and patted his back awkwardly, trying not to cringe and hoping he wouldn’t notice how uncomfortable she had become. His presence now was wholly unplanned, and Rey bit back her immediate urge to sigh. She had a particular idea of how this morning would go, and it was this:

1) Get a banana smoothie for breakfast.

Done. Her favorite cafe made the best smoothies, and she always detoured to get one. One time she had even pouted until Poe had agreed to navigate the Sunday brunch crowd to bring one back to her, just because she didn’t have a “brunch-worthy” outfit and refused to leave the house.

2) Buy the new Dior lip gloss.

Done.  _ It looks great on me, too, _ she thought. 

3) Break up with Poe and meet Kay and Rose for an early lunch.

Well, that was to be determined. 

“Well, I hope it was at least good,” Rey managed a little laugh that was as fake as the ficus trees in the lobby. 

“All good,” Poe said softly with a wink. Rey nodded and broke contact, feeling just a bit too guilty to look into his soft, brown eyes. She couldn’t deny that the man was something to look at. At thirty-three, he looked younger than his age with his ruggedly handsome good looks. He had those smoldering eyes under thick brows and dark lashes, black hair slightly peppered with just the very beginnings of silver-grey throughout that curled and rumpled when it wasn’t full of product to tame it into what Rey called his “business do.” He had quite a strong jawline that was scruffy by four o’clock rather than the standard five o’clock. At 5’10”, he was eye to eye with Rey when she wore heels, and he could hold his own when they went to the gym together, always gathering attention from the copious amounts of scantily clad gym groupies looking for an eyeful. 

Rey didn’t care. She figured it came with the territory. No, looks weren’t the problem. It was the age difference. At 22, Rey realized just how different she and Poe were. In the beginning, when she was 20 and in the middle of college, he had declared his affections, and it had seemed dangerous and exciting to run around with her father’s employee behind his back. A forbidden romance. Only it wasn’t. Her father had given his approval before Poe had even asked her out. Yet another instance of Rian Johnson making plans for his daughter’s future without her knowledge. The way it looked now, with the two of their heads together, sharing conspiratorial looks, it was apparent they had decided on something else having to do with Rey. Some things never changed. 

“Come with me,” Poe said and dropped his hand into hers, leading the way out of the office. Rey had no choice but to follow, putting away her earbuds and giving her father a meek wave as Poe led her off for what she knew was going to be a complete disaster. 

They passed out of her father’s office and through the lobby, turning left and heading for the bank of elevators leading to the rooftop. Rey knew where Poe was taking her, and it twisted her stomach into nervous knots. How the hell had she not realized this was going to happen? She groaned inwardly when they made their way up and out onto the rooftop garden overlooking the shops and cafes below. A small, round table sat next to a large, spherical garden sculpture. Someone had set the table beautifully with crystal stemware, Wedgewood China, and a champagne brunch consisting of eggs Benedict with hollandaise sauce, butter cake, and fresh fruit. Rey’s banana smoothie lurched as the implication of this tableau finally settled with a thunk. 

_ This can’t be happening. _

Poe led her to a seat next to the tiny table and scooted in Rey’s chair. She immediately grabbed a full champagne flute, downing its contents to strengthen her resolve. __

_ This is going to suck so hard,  _ she thought to herself. 

Poe had a proposal in mind, it had to be that—and Rey was dreading every minute of it. She pulled the bottle of Moët out of the silver bucket filled with ice and wrapped in a crisp white towel and poured herself another glass while Poe sat across from her. 

“Woah, sweetheart, take it easy. You ok?” He reached over and took Rey’s hand, eliciting a nervous bubble of laughter that came out as a squeak. 

“Yup. Sure. Fine. I’m good. You?” She took another large gulp of champagne, ignoring Poe’s confused gaze and trying to find something else to focus on as she thought about what she was going to say when he inevitably did what she knew down deep he was going to do. 

Poe laughed and rubbed his hand over his jawline. He looked nervous. “I’m great. Rey, there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

“Mhm?” Rey couldn’t—scratch that, she  _ wouldn’t  _ make eye contact with Poe, so instead, she concentrated on the condensation sweating down the sides of the ice bucket holding the champagne bottle, counting the drips rolling down into the towel. One, two, drink. Three, four, drink. She probably should have put some juice in the glass to dilute the alcohol; it was already starting to make her feel fuzzy.  _ I should’ve had a croissant, _ she thought stupidly before she realized Poe was still talking and she had no idea what about. 

“What?” Rey asked. 

“Rey, haven’t you been listening?” He looked confused and frustrated. Maybe even a little hurt. Rey felt guilty for zoning out. Her nervousness was beginning to make her sweat. She grabbed the champagne flute and finished the glass, setting it down with a shaky hand and wiping the moisture across her forehead. She reached up and tugged her beanie off her head, shaking her hair out around her. 

“I was. I am. Go ahead.” She exclaimed in a rush. 

“Well, he agreed that it was time…”

“Who agreed? To what?” Rey’s head was spinning. 

“Rey, I’ve asked your  _ father, _ and he agreed it’s time we make things official.” He pulled the blue Tiffany box out of his jacket pocket. Rey’s whole body felt sticky with sweat. Her mouth was so dry she couldn’t speak. She grabbed Poe’s already filled flute and proceeded to chug its contents.

“Rey, you really should slow down, don’t you think?”

“ _ You  _ should slow down,” Rey yelled out, pointing an unsteady finger at Poe. He sat back in his seat, a textbook image of the word shock. “Oh my god,” she said. She was beginning to feel as if this were a nightmare as the scenery warped around her. “This isn’t happening. I need to go,” she said, standing and knocking over the wrought iron chair. She turned and headed for the stairs on unsteady feet, just barely registering Poe’s concerned shout as she disappeared into the lobby of the bank. 

“Rey, wait!”

She ignored his plea and kept running out past the scratched sofas, work desks, and carved tables, not noticing the commotion over at a teller’s window. She raced to the door and flew out into the fresh mid-morning air, panting heavily, dizzy with anxiety and champagne. She needed to get out of here before Poe caught up to her. But where should she go? She scanned the crowd forming around the bank, confusion setting in deep as she heard sirens quickly approaching. 

She turned slightly and saw the flashing lights as the cruisers flew up onto the curb, and the police scrambled out of their cars, guns drawn ready to approach the bank. 

The bank! 

Rey’s alcohol-soaked brain was beginning to put the puzzle together. 

_ Holy shit, the bank is being robbed! _

She needed to get out of here, fast. She frantically glanced around and caught sight of an old, moss green BMW convertible stopped at the intersection, waiting for the light. Time slowed to a crawl as she looked back at the bank, then at the lights circling red, blue, red, blue around the top of the police cruiser, back to the beanie she was holding in her hands, and finally at the car at the intersection. At that moment, Rey had the stupidest idea she had ever had in 21 years.


	2. The Great Escape, The Prison Break

“How the hell do people live in this damn city? Jesus Christ!” He slammed his hand on his steering wheel in frustration as he waited at the intersection for the cluster of vehicles to finish merging, change lanes, and avoid the buses pulling out from their stops. The jumble of transportation sights, sounds, and smells wreaked havoc on Ben Solo’s senses as he attempted to find a place to park his car so he could stop and get money out of the bank atm.

He had already circled two blocks, twice, looking for a space, almost losing his bearings due to all the one way streets and ridiculous intersections. San Francisco driving was not for the weak, especially in the old BMW Z3 stick that was his Uncle Luke’s pride and joy, and Ben had certainly learned this the hard way.  _ Thank god for the GPS _ he thought. He could feel his irritation mounting as he realized that the light at the intersection had been green for far too long. As if on cue, the light switched to yellow, causing Ben to involuntarily bounce in his seat in reaction to the two car lengths ahead of him that hadn’t even made it into the intersection yet. He was going to have to wait for another green light. Shit. 

Watching the traffic light switch to red, Ben sighed and looked around at the surrounding buildings in the financial district. So many tall buildings blocking the meager morning sunlight gave the area a gunmetal gray gloom. It made Ben’s fingers itch to take out his camera and snap some pictures of the interesting shadows and angles created by the weak streams of light in between the juxtaposed skyscrapers and shops up and down the street. The camera, however, was tucked in a bag stored safely in the tiny trunk of the borrowed convertible. He’d have to forgo it this time. He just needed to get out of this oppressively cramped city and hit the open road where he could put the top down and enjoy his tour of California. 

As he tapped the steering wheel to the beat of the song on the radio, Ben only briefly registered the sounds of sirens coming from over his shoulder. It wasn’t until the sounds got louder and he heard shouts and tires squealing that he looked in his mirror and saw the police cars on the sidewalk and a crowd gathering outside a fussy looking old bank. 

What the hell? A bank robbery?  _ What fucking decade is this? _ Ben thought. His gaze was distracted by a slim figure running towards the car. The door was wrenched open and to Ben’s utter amazement the person jumped in, shouting, “Drive or I’ll shoot!”

In their coat pocket, Ben could see what looked like the barrel of a gun pointing straight at him. 

“Are you shitting me?!” He shouted back. 

“Drive!” They repeated, “NOW!”

“I’m not from around here!” Ben said stupidly as he jammed the car into gear and squealed around the bus that was stuck in the middle of the intersection. He felt like he was having some weird out of body experience being carjacked. By a bank robber. In the year 2020. 

“Jesus. Fine.” The apparent bank robber took their other hand - a very small, delicate, girly hand, he noticed, and pulled the ski mask up to reveal her right eye. No, wait. Not a ski mask. Was that a fucking beanie? What the hell was going on? How could she even see anything?

“Go straight, left on Pine. Fucking MOVE! HURRY!”

She jabbed what she claimed to be a gun into Ben’s side and he took off, shifting and swerving through traffic as this designer bank robber shouted directions at him from the passenger’s side; her beanie (it was definitely a beanie) pulled down over half her face. 

“Right! Right! Left! Faster!” She shouted at him in what Ben could only describe as a feral cartoon chipmunk voice. She had a soft accent, but also her voice was slightly slurred as she shouted at him. Was she drunk? He continued to weave in and out of traffic, horns blaring at him from every direction. 

“Right!” She screeched, and Ben could see the on ramp for Highway 1 up ahead. Shit. Where was she taking him? 

“What now?!” He yelled, irritation mixed with fear and anger at his situation. 

“South,” she said, and leaned back in the seat. She had relaxed a bit, he could see in his peripheral vision, and the jabbing in his side had considerably lessened. As he made his way onto the highway, she peeked out once more and mumbled, “fast lane,” and pulled her beanie down over her face. He maneuvered the car over as she directed and tried to get his breathing under control. 

Ben glanced over at the girl in the seat next to him with a renewed sense of amazement. Her entire head was covered by the fluffy hat and she looked absolutely ridiculous, but clearly her clothing was top notch. And was that a designer bag on her lap? This had to be the weirdest shit he’d ever been a part of. Something about this set off warning bells in the back of his head. He took a breath, ready to ask her what this was all about when she grabbed her middle and moaned wretchedly. 

“Hey! Hey are you ok?” he asked her. He couldn’t see any blood. Was she wounded? A small part of his brain worried about how pissed Luke would be if they got blood on the seats. She moaned again and reached her hand up, a delicate, small, pink manicured hand with French tips, and pulled the beanie slowly down the front of her flushed face, disheveling her hair and giving her what he had heard someone call a “just fucked” look. It was hot. Shaking his head, he tried to keep an eye on the road as she continued to reveal more of herself. It was a good thing traffic was next to nothing. As he did double duty, watching his defensive driving and her at the same time, he felt a twitch just below the belt. This girl looked incredible. Soft brown tousled hair brushed her shoulders. Her face was pale and lovely, freckles smattering the bridge of her nose and her cheekbones, which were gently brushed by thick eyelashes. Glancing to the road and back he discovered a new piece of her to catalogue before turning to his driving again. Every time he looked away, she would remove a piece of clothing until she had tossed aside her hat, a jacket and a sweater, and he could see the outline of her bra through her tight white tank. Definitely good looking.  _ Get it together, Solo,  _ he thought to himself. Ok. No gunshot wound. That was good. She moaned again, and this time when he glanced at her, her eyes snapped open, hazel green and flashing. They locked on his and she parted her lips, breathing heavily, her pink tongue darting out to moisten them ever so gently. Ben squirmed in his seat, cleared his throat and said, “Are you…”

Before he could complete his question, she opened her mouth...and vomited all over the dashboard of the car. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive my meager knowledge of the San Francisco Financial District. While I have driven in that area, it’s been a while and I’m not a native. GPS is my lifeline! Also, if you haven’t heard “Getaway Car,” it’s a great song and Taylor Swift is the best. Give it a listen.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think and stop and say hi on Twitter @lil_red_hed


	3. We Were Flyin’, But We’d Never Get Far

“Shit! Are you fucking kidding me?” Rey heard the driver shout at her as she felt another wave of nausea overtake her. She could feel the tears pricking her eyes and the shame of it all was just too much. 

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry,” she whimpered. What on earth had she done? It wasn’t even noon and she had already gotten drunk, ran out on a marriage proposal, faked being a bank robber, carjacked someone, and vomited all over his car. There was at least one criminal act in all of that, and Rey shuddered as a huge sob wrenched free and tears spilled out over her cheeks. She wasn’t sure what was making her cry more - the fear of incarceration, the humiliation of projectile vomiting on a stranger’s dashboard, or the fact that she had effectively ruined her favorite coat. 

“Jesus Christ! Are you ok? I have to pull over. Can I stop? You’re not gonna shoot me?”

Rey sobbed even harder at the kindness and concern in the man’s voice. She shook her head and managed to utter, “S’ok,” through her tears. She kept her eyes squeezed shut in the hopes that maybe she’d been dreaming. This was a continuation of her nightmare and if she just kept her eyes closed she’d sink back into it and then wake up and start her day. Banana smoothie, new lip gloss, break up with Poe. Her stomach roiled at the thought of the smoothie and she had to take deep breaths in and out to keep anything else from coming up. 

The car slowed to a stop as they exited the highway and pulled off towards the nearest gas station. As they pulled in to park by the water pump, Rey could hear the driver say to her gently, “If you could get out and clean up a bit, I’ll run inside for some napkins or something.”

Rey’s face was hot with embarrassment and she did what she had been dreading. She opened her eyes and looked at him. Christ, he was huge. How the hell he fit in this tiny convertible she had no idea. Gangly. That was the only way to describe his limbs. There just didn’t seem to be enough room for him. Her eyes moved up his solid body to his face. It was an unusual face, to be sure. Long nose, full lips, just the scruff of a goatee and warm brown eyes framed by wire-rimmed glasses. His long, dark hair flopped over the side of his face and Rey got the overwhelming urge to push it back. His eyes softened and he said to her, “Please.” This only brought a fresh round of tears to Rey’s eyes. 

“Why are you being nice to me?” she quietly sobbed. She had never felt so stupid in her entire life. He sighed and replied, “I honestly have no idea. Go ahead and get started. I’ll be back in a minute.”

Rey watched him get out of the car and walk into the gas station’s convenience store, his massive frame causing the patrons exiting the store to take notice and step aside for him. He wore khaki cargo shorts and a button up shirt paired with hiking boots. Rey took a brief moment to judge his lack of fashion sense before refocusing on the overall package. He moved with a casual air, as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Rey felt an unwelcome spark of envy. She had fucked up her entire life in the space of an hour, all because she was too much of a coward to be honest, to make her own decisions, and to say no. Sighing, she opened her door and stepped out, taking stock of the damage she had done. With a shuddering sob, she began the attempt to clean up the mess she had made in the car. The mess she had made of her life would have to wait for the moment. 

***

The chime on the entrance sounded as Ben crossed the threshold into the gas station’s adjacent store. He moved toward the aisle of toiletries and started to grab some things off the shelves while pondering the question she had asked him.  _ Why are you being so nice to me?  _ Ben honestly couldn’t say why. Any sane person would have pushed her out of the car and driven off, calling 911 and getting the hell out of there. But there was something about this girl that was incredibly sad. And being the idiot he was, he couldn’t handle seeing people cry without at least trying to help. So, here he was. Solo swooping in for the rescue. He rolled his eyes at his own foolishness and took his items to the counter. 

Glancing up he noticed the news program on the television behind the cashier. The top story was, naturally, the bank robbery. Only, Ben knew that she had nothing to do with it. Something else was up, and his curiosity was piqued. He knew there was no way this girl had robbed a bank. This was confirmed as he continued watching the broadcast. He could see the chyron on the screen in large, bold letters:  **ATTEMPTED BANK ROBBER IN CUSTODY, NO INJURIES REPORTED**

*******

Rey was just finishing up her amateur detailing of her side of the car when she saw him come out of the store holding a bag in one hand, and a fountain drink in the other. She wiped her hands on the paper towels from the squeegee station by the gas pump and balled them into her fists, avoiding eye contact with the driver. She cleared her throat, trying to think of what to say to him, when he handed her his purchases. 

“Here. It’s Sprite. I thought it might help your stomach.” Rey took the foam cup with a quiet, “Thank you,” and peered inside the plastic bag. She could see antibacterial wipes for the car, but also a toothbrush, toothpaste, a bar of soap and a small tube of anti-nausea medication. The type you took if you were going on a long trip or a boat ride. Rey felt a surge of guilt and looked up at this man who had absolutely no reason to be as kind or as thoughtful as he was being. She sank to the ground, clutched the bag to her chest and began to sob.

“Hey come on,” Rey heard him say. “It’s gonna be ok.” She could feel an awkward pat on her shoulder which only made her cry harder. It would be so much easier to handle if he’d scream at her or leave her here in a dirty parking lot of a no name gas station in the middle of a random suburb. It’s what she deserved. 

“I don’t know what the hell I’m doing,” Rey hiccuped, using the balled up paper towels to stop her nose from running. “Today was not supposed to go like this.” She looked up at his kind eyes and said, “I’m so sorry.”

“Look,” he replied, “why don’t you go and get yourself cleaned up in the bathroom. Then we can talk. Ok?”

“You...want to wait for me? Why?” 

“I’m naturally curious. And I don't think I’m in too much danger anymore,” he finished wryly. 

Biting her lower lip in confusion, Rey glanced over at the restroom door and then back to her surprise benefactor. 

“You won’t leave?” she questioned in a worried voice. 

“I won’t leave,” he said. 

“Ok,” Rey said. Grabbing her tote bag and her new toiletries she made her way to the restroom to clean herself up. 

About ten minutes later Rey emerged, feeling a little cleaner, a little stronger, and a little more sheepish. Clutching her bag in front of her, she took measured steps back to the car, noticing how the top was now down. Most likely to air it out. She flushed to her ears at the knowledge of what she had done. When she reached the car, she gave him an expectant look, eyebrows raised in question. 

“It’s ok, go ahead.”

Rey opened the car door and gingerly set herself into the seat, stowing her bag at her feet and buckling herself in. She kept her gaze forward, not wanting to attract attention to herself, yet knowing he was staring directly at her. 

“So…,” he said, “my name’s Ben. Ben Solo. What’s yours?”

“Um. I’m...Uh...Rey,” she said in a low voice, “Rey Johnson.” She hung her head in embarrassment. Now he had all he needed to turn her in. She didn’t care. The sooner she got this over with the sooner she would be home trying to figure a way out of this mess. 

“Rey. That’s an unusual name for a girl. Hmmm. Ok, Rey, why don’t you tell me what’s going on. Because I know you’re not a bank robber and I’m pretty positive that wasn’t a gun in your pocket.”

Rey lifted her eyes to look at Ben and could feel her cheeks burning. “How...how did you know?”

“That you weren’t a bank robber? Well, the designer outfit and you covering your entire face with a fluffy hat kind of tipped me off once we got on the highway, but the news in there,” he thumbed in the direction of the store, “confirmed it.”

“Ugh,” Rey groaned. She really had not thought anything through. This would definitely be the last time she had champagne before noon. 

“Hey it’s ok,” Ben said chuckling, ” I mean, I didn’t have anything pressing to do today, anyway. By the way, what exactly did you hold me up with? I think I have a bruise from you jabbing it in my side.”

“I, um, a lipgloss?” Her voice had an upswing on the last word, making it sound like she was asking him a question.

“A lipgloss. Of course.” Ben turned and placed his hands on the steering wheel, staring straight ahead. “It really figures that I would get car jacked by bank robber Barbie holding me up with a lipgloss.”

“Oh god,” Rey buried her face in her hands, humiliated beyond all she could imagine. Her head was beginning to pound and she had no idea what to do next. 

“Look, I meant what I said. It’s ok,” Ben reassured her, placing his hand on her shoulder yet again. This time, he wasn’t so quick to remove it and the warmth of his palm made her shiver. It was a strange mixture of pleasure, relief, and something else she couldn’t describe. In any case, it was comforting and Rey had a weird urge to crawl into his arms and let him hold her. What was it about this man that had made her trust him so quickly? 

“So,” Ben cleared his throat and removed his hand from her shoulder, “do you want to tell me what’s going on? Are you ok? Do you need help?” 

Rey thought for a moment. She did need help. She needed a break from the pressure of being herself for a bit. She needed to get away from Poe, her father, her boring life. Maybe this was fate giving her a chance to step away from everything for just a moment. To experience something that  _ she _ chose for once. She took a deep breath and made another split second decision. 

“I need you to take me wherever you’re going,” she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do we think? Drop a comment so I know who’s here! I love attention!
> 
> Seriously, though, thanks for indulging me and reading my nonsense. It really is the most fun. Xoxo


	4. Jet Set Bonnie and Clyde

For a moment, Ben wasn’t sure he had heard her correctly. “Come again,” he said, his brow furrowed in confusion. 

“Look, all my life I’ve done what they’ve told me to do. They’ve always made my decisions. But I can’t marry him. I don’t want to be a banker’s wife. I don’t want to be a country club mom. I had to leave. I want to make my own choices. So I choose to go wherever it is you’re going.” The word vomit tumbled out in a rush before she could filter anything. 

“Woah, woah. Wait a second. I have no idea what you’re talking about. Marry who? Come with me? That’s nuts, you don’t even know me!”

“But I know you’re nice!” Rey said. “You haven’t tried to hurt me and I don’t think you will. You’re dressed like you’re on safari, how dangerous can you be? You bought me toothpaste for goodness sake.”

“That’s really not the basis for a trusting relationship, kid,” he retorted. He chose to ignore the safari comment, but seriously, that was messed up. 

“Look, I just need a couple of days. You can drop me off at your destination. I can pay!” She said perking up. Money always seemed to sweeten any deal. “I mean, it’s the least I can do after barfing in your car. Where are you headed?”

Ben thought for a moment. He had a pretty tight budget he was following, the stuff he bought for her wasn’t on it, and the extra cash could mean the difference between a night in the car or a night in a motel. He could not believe he was actually giving this idea any consideration at all.

“San Diego,” he said.

“Perfect!” Rey replied. “I’ll ride with you and pay for your troubles. When we get to San Diego, you can drop me off and we’ll go our separate ways. Deal?” She held out her hand to shake his as if they were making an old west bargain. Ben had no idea why he was doing this, but he placed his hand in hers and shook. “Fine,” he said, “but there are rules.”

“Definitely, of course,” Rey bounced in her seat with excitement like a toddler, making Ben roll his eyes in exasperation.

“First, you have to reassure me that some bounty hunter isn’t after you and I’m not in for an ass-kicking,” he said. Rey shook her head no and opened her mouth to speak, but Ben held up his finger, effectively shushing her. “Second, I have work to do, and I need to be able to do it on my own time schedule. So we eat when I say, we stop when I say, and we sleep...well...in separate rooms.” Rey rolled her eyes, but nodded in agreement. 

“Anything else?”

“Yeah, please take the Dramamine,” he said, starting the engine and putting it into gear. 

***

One hour later Rey was wind blown, hungry, and cranky. Ben had told her their first stop would be Monterey when he pulled out of the gas station. He had been quiet ever since, only occasionally answering questions with a “yes” or a “no” and showing her how to turn on the heated seat after she had complained of “freezing her ass off.” She was beginning to think she had made yet another in a long line of mistakes coming along on this ludicrous road trip. She pulled her beanie lower over her head and tugged her sleeves down over her hands. Her coat was long gone, having been tossed in the dumpster outside the station when she realized it was beyond saving. Even though the heated seat warmed up her backside, she was still cold and didn’t understand how Ben could be unaffected by all the wind as they flew down the highway, top down, at 75 miles an hour.  _ He’s just a big hot blooded Sasquatch  _ Rey thought sourly. She had had enough and was determined to get his attention so she could at least eat something. 

“Ben?” No answer. Rey gritted her teeth. She had a feeling he was ignoring her on purpose.

“Excuse me. Ben?!” she tried a little louder. 

“Mhm?” he responded absentmindedly.

“Can we please stop somewhere? I’m cold and I’m hungry.”

“Not time yet.”

“I don’t care.”

“What was rule two?”

“Fuck your rules. I barfed up my breakfast and I’m starving. Find a place to stop or I will make a high pitched wail in your ear for the rest of the ride to Monterey.”

“Are you insane?”

“I’m starving. Please, Ben.” she templed her hands under her chin and stuck her lower lip out in an exaggerated pout. When he glanced at her, she batted her eyelashes to give him the full effect. This elicited a laugh and Rey knew she had won the battle. 

“Fine. Only because you said please. We’ll stop at Pescadero. I can take some shots at the beach.” He turned on his signal to change lanes and Rey clapped with glee. 

***

Ben could not believe someone Rey’s size could pack away that much food. She was smaller than him of course, which made her seem tiny, and pretty fit, so he couldn’t figure out where she put it all. 

“Do you work out?” he blurted. He felt his face get hot as soon as the words left his mouth.  _ Smooth, Solo. _

“Wha?” Rey looked up over her plate, her mouth full of blueberry cheesecake. She had devoured a whole club sandwich, a side of fries,  _ his  _ side of fries, and was decimating the large piece of cheesecake before her. 

“Nothing. Never mind. I’ll be back in a minute.” He left the table and headed to the men’s room all the while cursing his lack of finesse. He had avoided talking to her or even looking at her for most of the ride because he couldn’t control his body’s reaction to her. He acknowledged to himself that he had been immediately attracted to her and the longer he was in her presence the worse it was going to get. But he’d been burned by rich girls before. And Rey definitely was a rich girl. She had that look about her. Plus she had a fiancé - or at least someone who wanted to be. Ben was better off just playing it cool and not saying anything stupid. 

Rey took advantage of Ben’s absence to finally check her phone. She had a ridiculous number of missed calls and texts, mostly from Poe and her father, with a couple of “OMG girl, where are you?” texts from Kay and Rose. Rey figured the first place to start would be her father. She hit the callback button and waited for him to pick up. 

“Rey! Is that you? Where are you? Are you ok?” Rey’s father rushed over his words, barely finishing one query before starting the next one. She took a deep breath to formulate her answers before diving in. 

“Dad, yes, it’s me. I’m fine. Is everyone at work ok?” Rey did feel a bit guilty for not thinking of the employees and their traumatic situation a bit sooner.  _ I guess I’m just a selfish asshole _ ...

“Everyone’s ok. We were all worried about you because of how you ran off and then nobody could find you. I mean, we were really worried, Rey. Are you sure you’re ok? You haven’t been coerced into anything?”

_ Jesus, he could be so dramatic,  _ Rey thought. “No, dad. I’m fine.”

“Rey, what happened with you and Poe? He comes into my office asking to marry you and then next thing I know you’re off like a bat out of hell and you just disappear! Did he do something wrong? He wouldn’t talk about it, but so help me, Rey, if he hurt you…”

“Dad, please. Stop,” Rey interrupted. “I really don’t want to talk about Poe right now. I just need a little time to think. I need some space. I’m on a road trip with a...friend,” she said. 

“A road trip? Where are you going?”

“Just a couple of days down the coast. I’ll be fine, dad,” she could see Ben returning from the bathroom and decided to wrap up the call. “I’ll talk to you soon, ok?”

“Rey, are you…”

“I love you, dad. Bye,” Rey hung up and let out a small huff of air as Ben sat back down in his seat. 

“Everything ok?” he asked, looking concerned. 

Rey pasted on a bright smile, “Yep. Everyone’s good. We still headed to the beach?”

“Yeah, just let me get the check and we’ll go.”

“Nope, I got it,” Rey said. She popped up and began walking to the register. “I’ll see you outside.”

“Ok,” Ben said. He could tell she was agitated, but he wasn’t going to pry.  _ It’s none of my business,  _ he told himself, pushing away the urge to follow her and ask her what her deal actually was. With a frustrated growl, he stood up and made his way out to the car. 

***

Ben was waiting for Rey when she came out. He had the passenger door open for her and was leaning against the car, arms folded across his chest.  _ Wow look at those arms _ . Rey’s stomach did the tiniest of flip flops, catching her off guard.  _ Well that’s new _ . It wasn’t really something she wanted to address at the moment, so she scanned his clothing again and switched to judgy mode. He looked ridiculous, like he was going to man the Jungle Cruise at Disneyland. Rey shook her head and slipped her sunglasses on as she strode up to the car. 

“Ready Bonnie?” Ben said with a wink.

“What?” Rey scrunched her nose in confusion. Bonnie? Who the hell was Bonnie? It didn’t even come close to sounding like Rey. 

“You know...Bonnie Parker? Bonnie and Clyde? Warren Beaty and Faye Dunaway, 1967?” He put on an exaggerated accent imitating Beatty’s portrayal of Clyde. “This here’s Miss Bonnie Parker. I’m Clyde Barrow. We rob banks.” He laughed and raised his eyebrows at her expectantly. 

“Are you always this weird?” Rey asked.

“That’s rich coming from you,” he laughed, mildly annoyed at her attitude and her lack of film trivia knowledge, “get in.”

Rey climbed in and waited for Ben to start the car. As she buckled up, she made a mental note to search her streaming apps later for Bonnie and Clyde.

***

“So, what exactly did you mean by work?” Rey asked as they made their way down the path from the parking lot to the beach below. Ben had a camera bag slung over his shoulder and a camera around his neck. Rey was mildly surprised to see the equipment, she didn’t think people bought cameras anymore. She just took pictures with her iPhone. 

“I’m trying to break into photojournalism,” Ben told her. “I have a friend who got me a gig taking some beach shots for his work in a travel magazine. It’s not much, but it could get my foot in the door.”

“Oh. Ok,” Rey said, stepping gingerly over the rocks and down into the beach below, anxiety overtaking her as her boot heels began to sink into the soft, wet sand. “Ahh,” she cried out, and Ben quickly turned around to hurry back, his eyes wide with surprise. 

“What? Are you ok?”

“My boots are going to get ruined! I’ve already lost a coat and now I’ll need new shoes,” she whined. Ben rolled his eyes at her and turned back around to continue. “Just take them off. Jeez, do you make this big of a deal about everything?”

Rey glared at his retreating form and bent down to unzip her boots, mumbling, “These are expensive boots. We don’t all of us dress like the Crocodile Hunter.”

“I heard that,” Ben said, not stopping to turn around. 

_ With those ears I’m not surprised,  _ Rey thought and then immediately felt bad. His ears were cute. She was just being mean. Sighing, she picked her boots up and continued on to where Ben had set himself up by an arch in the side of a rock formation. Rey sidled up next to him and peeked over his shoulder. 

“That’s really cool,” she said. 

“Mhm,” was his only response. 

“So do you like it?” 

“The arch?” 

“Photography.”

“Oh. Yeah. I do. I like finding beauty in unexpected places.” He turned and looked at Rey. 

She looked up at him and smiled, “I like that,” she said, looking back at the arch as Ben continued to look at her. He could feel his chest tighten watching her smiling, her hair whipping around her face as she looked out at the cliffs. Without thinking, he turned the camera on her and snapped a few shots of her profile before the clicking noise got her attention. 

“Hey!” she shouted, holding her hands up and laughing. “I’m a mess! Don’t take my picture!”

Ben laughed and turned his attention back to his task at hand. If she was a mess now, looking like that, he was in so much trouble. 


	5. The Light of Freedom on My Face

They spent the rest of the drive to Monterey in companionable silence, the music from Ben’s phone playing on the Bluetooth speakers. Rey picked up the phone to see the name of the song he was listening to. 

“System of a Down - Spiders? I’ve literally never even heard of this before. It sounds like something a depressed serial killer would listen to. How old is this? How old are you?”

“It’s a classic. And I’m 28. How old are you?”

“22 and it can’t be a classic unless everyone’s heard of it. It’s creeping me out. What else do you have?”

“A lot of people have heard of it,” he said, “you just live in a bubble. Let me guess, K-pop?” 

Rey laughed, “No. But I absolutely love Taylor Swift. I have all of her entire catalog right here,” she shook her phone and gave him a cheeky smile. “I could play it for you. Much better for road trips.”

“No way. I would have to lose a bet first. And anyway, I have to put up with you, so I get to choose the soundtrack.”

“Put up with me?!” Rey exclaimed. “I’m incredibly fun to be around, unlike some people,” she pulled out her earbuds and plugged them into her phone. “Some people just don’t know taste,” she said, fitting her earbuds in her ears and sticking her tongue out at him. Ben laughed at her and for a second Rey was mesmerized by his dimple and his low chuckle. She hunched lower in her seat, turned her music up, and decided to tackle her text messages.

She started with a group text with Rose and Kay. Rey felt bad about ditching her two best friends for lunch, and could only imagine what they may have heard from her father or Poe. She typed out a quick message.

Rey: I’m so sorry bbys. Today was so f’d up. It’s a long story and I can’t talk. I’m fine tho. Call later. Xo

Kaydel: OMG Rey wtf?! We’ve been so worried and Poe has straight up lost his damn mind. Where u at girl?

Rose: Are you ok?! We were worried you got snatched up by some crazy man bank robber!!

Rey: I’m ok. I’m gonna be gone for a couple days tho. Need some space. I’ll explain later. Luv u! 💋

Rose: 🥺 love you. 

Kaydel: Let us know if you need us! Luv you sis 💓😚

Rey: ✌🏻 

Rey switched over to Poe’s messages and cringed. He had texted her fifteen times, in addition to the calls and voicemails. She felt sick to her stomach and didn’t have the guts to call him. Not that she could do that in front of Ben, anyway. She just knew it would be the easy way to text him and then ignore him. Cowardly, yes, but infinitely easier. 

Rey: I’m ok. 

Poe: I know. I talked to your dad. Would have been nice if you had called me too. Rey, I don’t want to text. Call me, please. We need to talk.

Rey: I am not really in a place to talk right now. 

Poe: Where are you? I’ll come get you. We need to talk about this. What happened?

Rey: Poe I can't do this now. I’m ok. I need some time. I’ll call you in a couple days. 

Poe: Days?! Rey, I’m calling you now. 

Rey blocked the incoming call and switched the phone off, laying it down in her lap and closing her eyes with a sigh. At least they all knew she was alive. She wouldn’t have to deal with anyone for a bit anyway. 

“Wanna talk about it?” Ben asked.

Rey heaved another dramatic sigh. “Not especially. How much longer?”

“It’s the next exit.”

“Ok. Thanks.” Rey closed her eyes and leaned her head back as Ben navigated traffic and headed for the next stop. 

  
***

“So tell me about the accent,” Ben said as Rey watched him retrieve his camera equipment from the tiny trunk. She could see a duffel bag and a sleeping bag and a small tent taking up most of the space and scoffed. 

“A sleeping bag and tent?!”

“Yup. I had planned on camping out until I picked up a rich bank robber who offered to pay my way,” Ben teased, raising his eyebrows at her.

“What makes you think I’m rich?” Rey asked. She didn’t know why it bothered her so much that Ben would assume that about her. Even if it was slightly true. 

“Are you kidding?” he laughed. “I have female friends you know. My cousin Jannah would die for that tote bag you have which I know for a fact is over fifteen hundred bucks. Plus ‘now I need new shoes,’” he mocked her in a high pitched voice which only aggravated her further. 

“It could be second hand,” Rey mumbled, annoyed. 

“Is it?”

Rey gave him a long look before she gave up and grumbled, “No, ok. It’s not. But don’t just go making assumptions about me because my dad can pay the bills,” she huffed. “And if you want to camp, you’re more than welcome, but I won’t be doing that.” 

“Fair enough,” Ben said, closing the trunk. He could see he had offended her. Shit, he thought. “Hey, I was only teasing. I appreciate you offering to help out. And I admit, it’s been more...interesting with you around,” he smiled at her and she relaxed a little. 

“It’s ok. I’m just a little crabby. Been a long day.”

“Right. So,” Ben thought he’d try again, “the accent?”

“Yeah,” Rey said, “so my dad is from here, but he and mum separated when I was a baby and she took me to London to live with her parents. The accent just kind of happened.”

“And you live with your dad now?”

“Yeah. I mean, when I was ready for university, dad got me set up in finance and I settled in with him.”

“Finance, huh? What’s involved in that? Banking?”

“Something like that,” Rey changed the subject, not wanting to get into the fact that she was the daughter of the owner of one of the largest financial institutions in the country. She pulled her boots off and tossed them in the car and they headed down into the sand towards the water. “What about you? What’s your story?”

“Well,” he said, “Nothing so glamorous as England. My dad was in the Air Force so we moved around a lot, but we settled up by Sacramento and he opened a flight school. He gives lessons to aspiring pilots.”

“That’s really cool,” Rey said. “Can you fly too?”

“I can fly. I can’t land,” he said with a laugh. 

Rey giggled, “That kind of seems like it would be an important part.”

“That’s what dad said,” Ben laughed and Rey’s insides fluttered at seeing his dimple again. If she could just continue making him laugh, it would be fantastic. 

“So what about your mom?” Rey asked

“Mom works for the city and is on the school board. Politics is her life,” he joked. There was a bit of an edge to his voice, though, which made Rey think she probably should not push that any further. 

“Any sisters or brothers?”

“Nah. Just me. Well, and Jannah. Her dad and mine were Air Force buddies and so we’ve grown up together. We call each other cousins. She basically lived with us growing up because she didn’t have a mom. What about you?” He began positioning his camera and taking shots and Rey sat in the sand, squishing her toes in and leaning back to enjoy the sun on her face. 

“Nope, just me,” she said. She sat for a while, relaxing to the sounds of the ocean and the birds overhead. After a while she said, “You know, I was thinking.”

“About what?”

“I’m going to need to go shopping. I don’t have anything to wear to sleep in and I do need some shoes. Don’t laugh at me.”

Ben cleared his throat. “Wasn’t going to,” he smirked. 

“Yeah, sure. So, are you down with a quick shopping trip, Pretty Woman style?”

“Ahhh, you do know movies,” Ben laughed. “Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll be done for the day after this. I’m just gonna...Uh...get closer to the water.”

“K,” Rey said, eyes still closed, reclining on her elbows.

Ben had almost lost it when she said she didn’t have anything to wear. He immediately pictured her sitting in the sand, naked, freckled everywhere. Jesus. He was acting like a horny fifteen year old. He held up the camera and zoomed in on her, hoping to take a couple of shots before she opened her eyes and saw what he was doing. He snapped four or five before he stopped. He shook his head and went back and deleted the photos, feeling a little creepy. He really needed to calm down or she would run screaming thinking he was some kind of stalker or murdering psycho. He went back to scanning the area, looking for something that captured his eye and could distract him from Rey. 

***

“Ready to go?” Ben asked thirty minutes later, passing Rey on the way to the car. He was brushing the sand off his legs and loading his equipment in the trunk when Rey stood and stretched and trudged back to join him. 

“Yep,” she said. 

“Ok I’m gonna get some gas and then we can go to Target so you can get your clothes.”

“Nope.”

“What?”

“I said nope,” Rey popped the p at the end of the word. “I’m not getting clothes at Target. I looked it up, there’s a mall with department stores. We’ll go there.”

“Oh my god you’re such a snob,” Ben said, buckling his seatbelt and starting the car. Rey followed suit and gave him an exasperated look. 

“It’s called taste, my friend. I have it, and you don’t. You go to Target and get your Jumanji chic. I’ll go to Macy’s and look cute.”

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

“You really have to ask that? You’re like Indiana Jones on vacation. Like you should be digging something up in a desert.”

“I’m comfortable. And there’s nobody here to impress,” he said. 

Rey blew a raspberry at him and said, “Well, you’re obviously a lost cause. Old man music, safari clothes, glasses, you should just chuck it all and move to Florida.”

“I’m going to stop listening to you now.”

“You can’t escape me and my good fashion sense, Ben. Muahaha,” she gave a cartoon villain laugh, twirling an invisible mustache. 

“You are so weird.” He pulled into a gas station, got out of the car and began to pump the gas. “Is there anything you want?” he asked, leaving the gas pumping and heading into the store. 

“Oh yeah I’ve got a sweet tooth. I’d love some butter rum Lifesavers.” Rey pulled out some money, but Ben waved it away.

“Anything else?”

“Nope,” she popped the p again, and was rewarded with one of his crooked grins. She was beginning to really enjoy him smiling at her. She blushed and looked away as he headed into the store. 

A few minutes later Ben returned with a small bag and tossed it at her. Rey caught it and rummaged inside while he finished up and climbed into the car. She found her package of Lifesavers, pulled it out, and frowned. 

“What are these?” she asked. 

“Lifesavers,” he said, his tone clearly conveying the “duh” without actually saying it. 

“Okay, but I said butter rum.”

“That’s what they are,” he said, eyes never leaving the road, in search of the mall she was adamant on visiting. 

“These are butterscotch,” Rey said, her voice starting to increase in pitch as her irritation grew. 

“What’s the difference?” Ben sighed. 

“What’s the difference?” Rey squeaked. “Have you had scotch? Have you had rum? They are completely different beverages!”

Stopping at a red light, Ben slowly turned his head to gawk at Rey, his mouth parted in disbelief. “Are you kidding me? They’re literally sugar rings. There is no difference. There’s no rum, no scotch. They’re sugar. What is wrong with you? Do you need a nap?”

“I…” Rey did not know how to respond. Deep down she knew she was being ridiculous, but he was starting to get under her skin and she didn’t know how to handle it. The way he talked to her like he wasn’t going to put up with her shit was completely different than how Poe talked to her. Where Poe deferred to every whim Rey had, Ben called her out on every foolish idea or comment and it unsettled her. She realized she was just used to always getting her way and now she felt like an insufferable brat. Only, she didn’t want Ben to think of her as an insufferable brat. She blew out a long breath as he parked the car and said quietly, “I’m sorry. Thank you for the candy.”

“You’re welcome. Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, I’ll be ok by myself. I won’t be long.”

“Here, give me your phone. I’ll give you my number in case you need anything.” He entered his phone number and called himself, hung up, and then opened her camera to take a selfie and add it to her contacts. 

“Thanks,” Rey said, taking back her phone. She dropped it in her bag, popped a candy in her mouth, and headed into the store, leaving Ben to his music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t care what Ben says, butter rum lifesavers hit different than butterscotch. I don’t make the rules. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for reading!  
> Xoxo


	6. I Knew it From the First Old Fashioned We Were Cursed

“How the hell do you expect to fit all  _ that,”  _ Ben gestured towards Rey’s numerous shopping bags and a large duffel, “in  _ this _ ?” He pointed to the trunk and said, “Did you forget there’s no backseat?”

“That’s what I got the duffel for, jeez, relax! I’ll pack it right now.” Rey rolled her eyes at him and opened the door. She sat sideways with her feet sticking out of the car and placed the open duffel on her knees. She tossed the shopping bags over her shoulder, hitting Ben in the chest and saying, “Just give it to me slow and I’ll put in. Not too much at once.”

Ben froze. His brain completely shut down at the words that came out of her mouth and all he could manage was an, “mhm” noise to acknowledge her. He had watched her walk away earlier, and had spent the time she was gone flashing back to the way her ass looked in those jeans, semi hard and annoyed with himself for acting this way over someone he’d known for less than a day. He had finally managed to calm down a bit and here she was telling him to “give it to her slow.” He tried to think of anything else as he handed her shoes, shorts, and shirts that she carefully rolled up and placed in the bag, when he reached in for another item. His hand fisted around the material and when he realized what he had pulled out of the bag, Ben began to sweat. It was a handful of underwear. Thong underwear. Black lace and satin thong underwear. Ben dropped it back in the bag as if it were on fire. He opened the door and jumped out, dropping the bag in his seat with a strangled cry. Startled, Rey looked at him over her shoulder. 

“What?” she asked. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he said. “I forgot I need to...make a phone call. Yeah. A phone call.” He took his phone out of his pocket and pointed to it, then turned and walked off. Rey looked at him quizzically, shook her head, and went back to packing her things. When she finished, she gathered up the empty bags and clothing tags and carried them over to the nearest can. 

“Ben, I’m ready,” she shouted. Without turning to look, he raised his hand in acknowledgment and she headed back to the car to wait for him to put her bag in the trunk. She was desperate for a rest and hoped that he wouldn’t mind cutting their adventure short and checking into a room so she could shower away the day and try to relax. 

***

“Ok don’t start complaining before we even get in the door,” Ben said as they pulled up to the grey building with slate blue trim. It looked like a charming home with painted shutters, striped awnings and lush green topiaries, sprawling bushes, and aged trees surrounding the bistro table and chairs on the patio out front. Rey thought it was the cutest house and fit in perfect with the beachy, relaxed scene in Carmel. Why would she complain?

“Why would I complain?” she voiced her thoughts out loud to Ben. When he didn’t answer, but only gave her a look that said “ _ really?”  _ she sniffed and said, “It’s cute. Who lives here?”

“Nobody lives here,” Ben said, focusing on putting the top up and gathering his things from the trunk. “It’s an inn, a bed and breakfast.”

“Oh, wow,” Rey said, looking back up at the building, watching the United States flag wave gently atop the tall pole out front. “It’s so cute and charming. So again, why would I complain?”

“You seem more like a turn down the bed, room service, five star kinda girl is all. I already had the reservation, so…” Ben trailed off, feeling a little sheepish at the flash of hurt he saw flicker across Rey’s face before she covered it with a grin.

“There you go, assuming again,” she laughed. “Maybe ease up on the judging a bit, you know?”

“Oh, yeah, no problem there, mate,” he retorted in probably the worst imitation of an Australian accent Rey had ever heard. She rolled her eyes and laughed.

“Ok. I solemnly swear I will stop judging this particular Crocodile Hunter outfit you are wearing,” she giggled. “But I make no promises about tomorrow’s choice of outfit.”

“Fair enough,” Ben smiled at Rey, and again she felt that unfamiliar flutter dance around in her belly. She grabbed her bags out of the trunk and followed him up to the door and inside to the lobby of the inn. 

“So, I thought you said you were going to have to camp out,” Rey said. She turned around to look at the lobby. It was lovely and quaint, with cheery yellow walls, soft beige sofas and accents of blue in the floral arrangements, throw pillows and curtains. It was everything a beachside bed and breakfast should be. It definitely did not seem like the type of place Ben would choose. She had promised not to judge, so she waited expectantly for his explanation.

“This place belongs to my dad’s old friend, Maz,” he said. “She offered a room up for the night while I was passing through. It’s a little fussy for my taste, but Maz is like family. And she doesn’t take no for an answer.” Ben had the softest expression in his eyes. He obviously cared about this Maz. It made Rey smile and she had to once again resist the urge to take his hand or thread her arm through his. Less than a day. It had been less than a day that she’d known him and she felt like she wanted to know him forever. The look in his eyes changed and Rey couldn’t help but notice how Ben looked at her lips and back to her eyes. She felt flushed and that reckless feeling came over her again as she leaned closer to him.

“Benny!” A loud voice came from a doorway behind the lobby’s counter, making Rey jump back with a start. She looked to see a small older woman with the largest glasses Rey had ever seen step around the counter with her arms open wide. “I finally got you to come see me! Come give me a hug, you giant!” 

Ben laughed and wrapped his arms around the petite woman. He patted her on the back and pulled away saying, “Maz, I’d like you to meet my friend Rey. Rey, this is Maz.”

“It’s lovely to meet you,” said Rey, shaking hands with Maz. She had soft, wrinkled skin and a sly twinkle in her eyes that put Rey at ease right away. “This is a lovely place.”

“Why thank you. That’s sweet. So you’re my Benny’s new girlfriend. She’s cute, Ben. You didn’t tell me you were bringing someone. I would have given you a different room with a bigger bed!” Maz winked at them both and Rey wanted to crawl under a table and hide. 

“No, no, no,” Ben and Rey said in unison. Ben felt the tips of his ears burning. “Rey is just a friend. We actually were hoping to get two separate rooms.”

“Oh boy. I am booked right up, kiddo,” Maz shrugged her shoulders and looked at Rey. “But, I have a rollaway in the back. I’ll have it brought to you. How’s that?”

“That’s fine, thank you so much,” Rey replied. She was calm and polite on the outside. Inside, she was screaming and running around like a headless chicken at the thought of having to share a room with Ben. Could this day get any worse?

***

“I adore this room!” Rey turned around looking at the decor around her. The fading sunlight streamed in through the large window framed with sage green curtains and pictures of various flora dotting the western walls. The four poster bed was large and luxurious looking, tumbled with a thick duvet and soft pillows in creams and greens and yellows. The fireplace across from the bed was flanked by two soft, overstuffed chairs and a small table held fresh flowers in a glass vase. It was sweet, and pretty, and everything anyone could want for a romantic evening by the beach. Even the ocean view from the window was perfect. Rey felt a surge of excitement followed quickly by disappointment at being in this beautiful place in the situation she was in. 

“It’s ok,” Ben said as he opened his bag to take out his toiletry bag. Rey turned and scrunched her nose at him. 

“Ok?” she exclaimed. “It’s beautiful! Look at that view!” 

Ben looked at Rey as she gazed out the window at the ocean. The sun had lowered enough to bathe her in light and make her glow like some kind of fiery sun goddess. He could not get over how beautiful she looked standing there, and he wished for a moment this was real. That this was their room, and they were sharing a romantic evening surrounded by the ocean and soft pillows and flowers and all the things he never paid attention to before. He was not aware of just how long he stood there until he realized she was speaking to him. 

“Hello? Are you ok? I asked if you wanted to get some food. I’m starving.”

“Food?”

“Yes. Food. Eat. Rey hungry.” She imitated a robot moving her arms up and down while bent at the elbow.

“Sure. Yeah food. Right.”

“There were some adverts for a burger joint down by the beach. How does that sound?” Rey wasn’t sure what had gotten into Ben. She was a bit disappointed that she hadn’t been able to make him laugh with her dumb joke. Maybe he was just tired. Maybe he was tired of  _ her _ . “I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I can go myself. It’s not that big…”

“No, I want to,” he interrupted. “Just give me a minute.”

Rey relaxed and nodded at Ben and turned to walk towards the fireplace. Just then, there was a knock at the door. When Ben answered it, Maz came bursting in rolling a foldable bed on wheels. 

“Here you are my dears. Benny, you be a good boy and let Rey take the big bed. Let me know if there’s anything I can get for you two. Blueberry pancakes for breakfast tomorrow! We’ll catch up then. Give me a hug sweet boy!” She came at Ben again, enfolding him in her warm, comforting embrace. Ben kissed her cheek and said, “Thank you. We’ll see you in the morning.” He shut the door behind her as she left. 

“My goodness she’s like a mini tornado,” Rey said.

“Yeah, she has a strong personality,” Ben agreed. 

“Well, you don’t have to take the folding bed. I can. It’s fine.”

“No, it’s ok. You’ve had a rough day. I don’t mind.”

“That’s sweet. Thank you, Ben.” She smiled so warmly at him when she said it that Ben didn’t know how to respond. He set down his bag and ran his hand through his hair. 

“Yeah. No problem. So...dinner?”

“Yes!” Rey lit up with excitement and Ben laughed as he followed her out of the room. 

***

“So, how did you get into photography?”

They were sitting at a long bar in a hole in the wall pub a couple of blocks away from the beach. The smell of strong beer and fried foods permeated the air and loud jukebox music mixed with muffled conversations and a tv or two showcasing a sporting event. The cacophony was equally jarring and comforting, like slipping on a pair of fuzzy slippers at the end of a long day. Rey loved the atmosphere here. 

“Oh, well it was kind of a fluke actually,” Ben said, stirring his drink. Rey watched as he did so, his massive hand dwarfing the tiny straw.  _ Jesus he’s got bear paws, _ Rey thought and giggled. 

“What’s funny?” Ben asked. 

“Oh, nothing. Sorry. Um. Fluke. It’s a funny word. Please carry on.” 

“Oh...k. Well yeah. So I told you about my parents. Well I wasn’t ever going to get into the military or anything like that. Dad wanted it, but it just wasn’t what I wanted. And then my mom tried to push me towards politics, but that definitely wasn’t my thing either. When I got to college I met someone. She was an art major and it interested me. So I took an art class. And then another. And then photography was one of the required classes and it just happened. I ended up with a degree and a bunch of camera equipment, and  _ nothing to show for it.”  _ He made air quotes saying the last part. 

“Ahh,” Rey Said. “And whose words were those?” She understood what he meant. Disappointing parents was something she knew all too well.

“Both I guess. So I kind of stayed away for a while. I moved in with Bazine…”

“Bazine?!” Rey interrupted with a laugh. “Is that the girl? The artist? What kind of a name is that?”

Ben shrugged and took a sip of his drink. “Yep. That’s her.”

“So what happened?”

“She started to side with my parents. There wasn’t enough  _ money _ in what I wanted to do.” Ben’s face when he said the word  _ money _ made Rey's spine tingle. He really had an issue with money. “She thought I should be doing art shows and going to fancy galleries with her and she wanted to parade me around to her family and friends, but only on her terms. It wasn’t working. I didn’t live up to her expectations, so she left and I moved on.”

“Ah. I see. So that’s why you dislike rich girls. Because of whatsername.”

“I don’t dislike rich girls. I just dislike money being used to make people feel inferior. Anyway, what about you? What happened to make you go on the run?”

Rey wasn’t prepared to switch gears so quickly and had to stop and think about what he was asking. How much did she want to tell him?

“Um...well I went to break up with my boyfriend Poe this morning, and it didn’t go well. I, um. Kind of got drunk on champagne and ran out while he was trying to propose. Everything just kind of happened so fast.”

“You were drinking in a bank?”

“Well...he works there.”

“Wait, you went to break up with him where he works? You’re not one for thinking things through are you?”

“I think we’ve established I make bad decisions,” Rey laughed. 

“What’s his name again?”

“Poe.”

“Poe?  _ What kind of a name is that _ ?” He put on a fake accent, mimicking Rey’s earlier question. 

“Ha ha. I think it’s a family name,” Rey laughed. 

“It’s weird,” Ben said. “Pooooe,” he stretched out the oh and laughed again. “Isn’t that the Kung Fu Panda's name? Oh my god! He’s Poe and you’re Rey. You could have a kid and name it Mi and be a Sound of Music family.” Ben snorted into his drink as he lifted it to his lips for another swig

“That’s the stupidest dad joke I’ve ever heard. And I’m not having children with him. I told you before that I don’t even want to marry him. I went to the bank to break up with him. How was I supposed to know he was planning to propose?”

“Then what about the bank robbery?”

“That was just...bad timing? Or good, depending on how you look at it.” 

“How long have you and Poe been together?”

“Four years.”

“Four years?! So, you were what? Eighteen?”

“Yeah. He asked me out on my 18th birthday.”

“Did you two go to school together?”

“No.” Rey didn’t feel comfortable talking about Poe. After hearing him talk about his ex girlfriend, she didn’t want him to continue to see her as the rich girl. Daughter of a banker. A prize to be snatched up. Or a snob. “He asked me out at my birthday party and my dad was OK with that, my dad is his boss, and…”

“Your dad works at the bank too?”

“Uh...Yeah.”

“How old is this guy?”

“He’s. Um. Thirty-two?”

“That’s a little creepy, isn’t it?”

“Ugh. Maybe? I don’t know. Let’s change the subject. What are you drinking?”

“An Old fashioned. With scotch. Wanna try?” He pushed the drink toward her. Rey wrinkled her nose.

“Ew. No thank you. I prefer rum. Pay attention.”

“Ah yes. The lifesavers.” Ben laughed, “I don’t know how you can tell the difference. It all tastes the same to me.”

Just then the server came and deposited their plates in front of them. Large burger and fries with a slice of blueberry pie for Rey, and a small bowl of chowder for Ben. 

“You sure like your food, don’t you?” Ben laughed. 

Rey looked at him and took the biggest bite of her burger she could fit in her mouth, puffing up her cheeks and talking with her mouth full. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

Ben laughed out loud and Rey was thrilled to hear him and see his eyes crinkle and his dimple in the side of his cheek. If it meant being silly with her mouth full of food, it was worth it. 


	7. There Were Sirens in the Beat of Your Heart

“I think today has been the longest day of my life,” Rey said with a yawn. They had finished their dinner and were making their way back to Maz’s at a leisurely pace. 

“I bet,” Ben replied. “Have you been able to talk to your parents at all?”

“I called my dad earlier today.” 

“What did he say?”

“I didn’t really give him the opportunity to say much,” Rey confessed. “I just told him I needed some time and that I was safe. I’m guessing he’s not happy about it, but I’ve spent so much time doing what he wants and making everyone else happy that I just…” she trailed off when she caught Ben staring intently at her. “Sorry. I guess that’s a little heavy. I just needed a break. There’s a lot of pressure being Rian Johnson’s daughter.” She laughed at that, but Ben noticed it was a brittle laugh with no humor. 

“What do you mean?”

“My dad spent a long time fighting over me with my mum. He wanted control of everything. Me living in London was a thorn in his side my whole childhood. So when I finished school and was ready for university, I guess he saw it as his chance to control everything he couldn’t when I was little. He chose my university, my major, my job, where I lived. I went from being suffocated by one parent to the other. So when Poe paid attention I thought, here’s my chance to get out. And it backfired. Dad was thrilled. His star employee and his precious daughter. He thought it was great that his kid was dating the assistant manager. So then it just transferred control. Not that Poe is controlling, but, it’s just, we don’t have a whole lot in common. And after four years I just thought, if I don't get out now I’m going to be married, pregnant, and miserable before I know it. And everyone else will be thrilled. And I’ll still be...just...I don’t know.” 

They had stopped walking and had sat down next to each other in the bistro chairs in front of Maz’s, Rey never stopping her story and Ben listening attentively. Rey hadn’t had the time or presence of mind to be embarrassed until she finished what she was saying and realized just how attentive Ben was being. “Wow. I said a lot of things didn’t I? I’m a mess.” She laughed nervously. Ben smiled at her. 

“You’re OK,” he said softly. “I understand. It’s hard to try and find your own way even without the added pressure of being under their nose all the time. So, you have, what, a business degree?”

“Finance, yeah. I hated every minute of it. But it’s what dad wanted.”

“If you could have chosen, what would  _ you  _ want?”

“I honestly don’t know. Not to be stuck in one place I guess.” She took a deep breath and let it out in a whoosh. “Anyway, I should probably get ready for bed.” She stood up and hurried into the lobby door, without giving Ben a chance to respond. 

* * *

_ I am never leaving this shower.  _ Rey stood for the longest time just letting the hot water spray wash over her. She was more than tired, she was emotionally wrung out. As she ran the flannel soaked in rose scented shower gel over her skin, she went over the events of what had to be the longest, worst day of her entire life. She had messed things up so badly, she wasn’t sure how to fix any of it. And then there was Ben. The best part of her day had been climbing into Ben’s car. He was charming, funny, caring, and made her stomach flip whenever he looked at her with those golden brown eyes. Rey wished she had known him sooner. She wished for so much more than this situation she had gotten herself into and was irritated at everyone all over again. Her father, her mother, Poe, herself. All she ever wanted was to be able to make her own choices. And look at where that had gotten her. She sighed, rinsing the last of the soap off her body and the conditioner out of her hair. She turned off the shower and stepped out, wrapping her hair and body up in the thick, fluffy towels Maz had provided for them. She was thankful she had the forethought to buy some casual pajamas. She slipped on the over-sized tee shirt and matching fuzzy pajama pants and walked out of the bathroom, toweling her hair dry. 

“All yours,” Rey said cheerily. “I feel so much better.” She flopped onto the bed with a groan. “Oh this is so comfy. Are you sure you don’t want to take the bed?” 

Ben had just finished unfolding the roll-away bed and was getting ready to enter the bathroom when Rey lay down. She looked so tired. Circles had started to form under her eyes and after the day she had, and what she had told him, there would be no sleeping for her at all on the lumpy prison cot that passed for a bed. Shaking his head he said, “You take it. I’ll be fine.” Grabbing his clothes, he shut the bathroom door and started the shower. The room was still steamy and filled with the scent of roses from Rey’s shower gel. The scent was intoxicating. It made his mind flash to images of her running a soapy cloth all over her body which quickly changed to his hands sliding over her body, her nipples taut and glistening under soap bubbles. Groaning, he turned the temperature from hot to cold and stepped under the spray.

He emerged from the bathroom later, dressed in sweats and an old concert tee shirt. Rey had dimmed the lights and had tucked herself under the covers. She looked so vulnerable all curled up on the bed that Ben once again had to resist the urge to go to her. To put his arms around her and comfort her. Instead he tiptoed around the bed and sat down as quietly as he could on the creaky roll-away. He laid down and pulled the blanket up over his shoulder, just getting ready to settle in when he heard Rey whisper his name. 

“Ben?”

“Yeah?” He whispered back.

“Thank you so much for...well, for everything. I feel like such a terrible person. I don’t deserve how kind you’ve been to m-e.” Ben could hear her voice break on the last word. He knew she was crying and that she was trying to hide it from him. It gutted him to hear her sound so small. Without thinking, he stood up and walked over to sit down next to her on the bed. Rey sat up and pressed her hand to her cheeks, one at a time, trying to stem the flow of tears and failing miserably. Ben held out an arm and she threw her arms around him, letting go and crying into his chest. 

“You’re not a bad person, Rey,” he whispered softly. He reached up to gently pat her still-damp hair with one hand, and rubbed her back in circles with the other in what he hoped was a soothing gesture. “Everyone deserves kindness, and you deserve to be happy. We all make mistakes. I’m sure everything will be ok.”

Rey pulled back to look up at him, her face streaked with tears. “Thank you, Ben.”

He reached up to wipe away a lone tear that had escaped to trickle down her cheek. Rey closed her eyes, leaning into the warmth of his hand and took a deep, shuddering breath, savoring the feel of his body next to her, and his kind words.  _ Oh god, what now? _ she thought.  _ Is he going to kiss me? Do I want him to kiss me? Of course I do. Oh god I do! _ Her eyes flew open and she could see something in his eyes that sparked a tiny flame of hope. Her heart began to beat faster and she felt her cheeks flush at the idea that he could sense what she was thinking and feeling as she glanced at his full lips and back up to his eyes. She could get lost in those beautiful eyes. Just when she thought he was parting his lips to kiss her, and she leaned toward him, he pulled back and whispered, “Goodnight, Rey.” He stood up quickly to move back towards his cot, running his hand through his hair and looking anywhere but at her. Disappointment washed over her, followed by a healthy side of mortification. Rolling over, she pulled the duvet up to her ears and mumbled, “Goodnight, Ben.”

* * *

The next morning dawned gloomy and cold. It fit perfectly with Rey’s mood. She hadn’t slept well the night before despite the comfort of the bed and the coziness of the room. All she could think about was Ben laying no more than ten feet away from her. She could smell his shampoo, a soft, minty smell that made her want to thread her hands through the thick, dark waves and bury her face in it, breathing deeply. She would shake it off and try to think of something else, and he would move, creaking the springs on the ridiculous roll-away bed and Rey would get flustered all over again. She finally passed out from exhaustion some time later and awoke to the sound of those same creaky springs. Rey sat up and looked over at Ben. 

“What time is it?” Rey asked. Ben was sitting fully dressed on the side of the makeshift bed, tying the laces on his boots. He looked up at Rey, completely disheveled, hair sticking up on one side, eyes hooded from sleep, and his stomach tightened. She looked so adorable in that moment he wanted to climb in next to her and kiss her senseless and forget about breakfast and deadlines and responsibilities. He had wanted to kiss her so badly the night before, had thought that maybe she wanted it too, but he knew it would have been a terrible idea. She had just broken up with her boyfriend and had a stressful day. It would have been like taking advantage of her. Rey didn’t deserve that. He had only known her for a short time, less than twenty-four hours, and still he knew Rey was the type of woman who deserved way more than he could give her. 

“Ben?” Rey looked at him quizzically.

“Yeah?”

“Did you hear me? What time is it?”

“Oh, yeah it’s 8. Maz has breakfast when you're ready. I’ll wait for you.”

“Ok, thanks,” she slid out of bed and grabbed her bag before heading into the bathroom. When she saw her reflection in the bathroom mirror, she groaned. 

“Awesome. I look like a crazy person. Perfect.” She pulled out her hairbrush and went to work. Twenty minutes later she emerged dressed in soft denim leggings and a black and white striped sleeveless top, slip on sandals and a floppy hat. Ben thought she looked like a summer catalog model. “You look nice,” he said, and Rey stopped and looked at him, surprised at his comment. He saw her cheeks flush and she looked down, mumbling, “Thank you,” as she grabbed her bags.

They made their way to the lobby where tables had been set up with crisp white cloths and small vases of fresh flowers cut from the backyard garden. The sweet smell of blueberry pancakes and syrup made Rey’s stomach growl noisily. She made her way to the food spread and filled a plate before sitting down and quickly digging in. Ben followed shortly after, sitting next to Rey. She could feel herself tense at his proximity - his cologne was nearly as mouth watering as her breakfast. She knew this was only going to get worse the more time they spent together. She stifled a groan and shoveled another sticky forkful of pancakes into her mouth. 

“You OK?” Ben could see her tense as soon as he sat down. He surreptitiously sniffed his shirt, hoping he didn’t smell weird. 

“Yeah, just hungry,” Rey replied.

Just then Maz sidled up next to Ben, lively and cheery, and patted him on the back. “Benny! Good morning! How did you two sleep? Was everything OK? How are the pancakes? Tell me what’s new with your mom!”

Laughing at Maz’s barrage of questions, Ben held up his hand and ticked each answer off on his fingers. “Slept great, everything was fine, pancakes are delicious, mom is good.”

“Just good, eh?” Maz quirked an eyebrow at Ben. “And your dad? How’s the school?”

“Dad’s OK. Still trying to get me to join him in teaching.”   
“And?” Maz looked at him expectantly.

“I’m a photographer, Maz. Not a pilot. He needs to learn to live with it.” The look on Ben’s face was almost a look of defeat. It made Rey feel sad for him. He looked so forlorn. Maybe he did know a thing or two about pressure from parents. She watched as Maz patted his back once again and said, “I’m sure he’ll come around, hon. I should get back to work, but it was so good to see you again. Give everyone my love. It was so nice to meet you, Rey!”

“Lovely to meet you, Maz!” Rey smiled brightly, but Ben could see she seemed less peppy than before. Maybe she just needed to talk to her family and friends. He waited until Maz had gone before broaching the subject.

“Rey?”

“Mhm?” she answered through a mouthful of pancakes, not even attempting to make eye contact.

“Is something wrong?”

Rey swallowed her pancakes and set her fork down. She turned to look at him and for a moment it seemed like she wanted to say something. He could sense it. She opened her mouth, shut it, and shook her head. “Nope,” she said with a smile. The same smile she had given Maz. It was beautiful and bright, but didn’t reach her eyes. Ben decided not to push.

“OK. I was going to get the car ready. Do you need time to call anyone? Your family or friends?”

“No thanks. I will later. Let me wash up and I’ll meet you outside.” She excused herself from the table and headed to the restroom, leaving Ben to grab the bags and load them into the car.

* * *

“So where are we going today?” Rey asked as Ben queued up his playlist for the drive. Rey bristled, knowing she was in for at least an hour or two of old angsty tunes. 

“San Simeon. Have you ever been there?”

“No, but I’ve heard it’s nice. How far is it?” She mentally crossed her fingers hoping for a short trip.

“About two hours,” Ben said. He hit play on his phone and the first strains of Radiohead’s “Creep” began to engulf her. Stifling another groan at Ben, she pulled her cardigan on and leaned back against the headrest, thankful her sunglasses hid her eyes rolling at his music choice.

After the fifth moody 90s tune, Rey had had enough. Her nerves were as taut as a guitar string and she was ready to snap. She pulled off her sunglasses and turned to Ben.

“OK seriously dude. If I have to hear one more morose, old ass song I will stab you in the head. I can’t handle it anymore.” They had only been back on the road for fifteen minutes, and already Rey was tired of the soul-sucking top ten playlist Ben was subjecting her to. 

“My car, my rules.” 

“You said you’d have to lose a bet.”

“What?”

“Yeah, when I mentioned Taylor Swift, you said you’d have to lose a bet to listen to her. So let’s make a bet.” 

“That sounds dumb.” 

“You sound afraid to lose.”

Ben sighed. Rey had been sullen the entire ride. He figured he might as well give her this. “Fine. What’s the bet?”

“I don’t care,” she said. “You pick.”

“OK. I bet you won’t run into the ocean.”

Rey barked out a laugh, “That seems a little easy to me.”

“You have to get completely under.”

“Oh, so it’s less of a bet and more of a dare then?”

“You refusing?”

Rey narrowed her eyes at Ben. Dares had always been her weak spot. She didn’t like to back down from a challenge. “So I run into the ocean, dunk myself and come out? Then you’ll let me control the music?”

“Five seconds.”

“What?”

“Stay under for five seconds,” he said. “Then I’ll let you listen to the musical equivalent of cotton candy.” 

‘That’s just too easy.” 

“That water is cold,” he smirked at her. There was no way she’d do it.

“Well, I have been building up an immunity to cold Mr. Top Down. You’re on. Better brush up on the lyrics because I expect you to sing along.” 

“Never happening.”

“We’ll see. Let’s do this.”

“What, now?” 

“No time like the present. I can’t handle this music anymore. I’m grumpy. Just find a place to pull over and get ready to lose mister.”

Ben couldn’t help but be amused at her feral little snarl. She was damned adorable when she was cranky. He was smart enough to know, however, that laughing at this moment would not be prudent. So he just smiled and said, “Yes ma’am,” and looked for a convenient place to stop. Rey was more than ready and jumped out as soon as he put the car in park.

“Ok, five seconds? Time me.” Rey said, as she began to walk towards the shoreline. Ben smirked at her retreating form. He didn’t really believe she’d do it. There was no way she was going to ruin her fancy new clothes.

Ben froze as he watched Rey stop and pull her shirt off over her head. Then,  _ oh dear god _ , Ben thought. She bent over, and pulled down her leggings, revealing the very same thong underwear that Ben had seen in her shopping bag the day before. 

“Holy shit,” he whispered, watching her body as she inched closer to the shore and stuck a toe in. He watched her draw her foot back, her shoulders rising in a deep breath. For a moment he couldn’t think straight watching her move closer to the water in barely there underwear. Shit, what if someone could see her like this? He should stop her. Just let her listen to whatever she wanted. This was stupid. But before he could say anything, she ran into the surf, squealing at the cold water. She turned around, giving him a view of her from the front, eliciting a groan out of him before she held her nose and went under. 

A second later, without warning, a huge wave crested and the surf retreated. Ben had expected to see Rey come up as the water was pulled back, but there was no sign of her. How long had it been? Ben had been so distracted by her lack of clothing that he had forgotten to count. Where was she?

“Rey!” 

Panicking, Ben emptied his pockets, tossing his phone, keys, and wallet as he ran to the water’s edge and without another thought, he dove in. The water was freezing, as he had warned Rey earlier, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t think of anything else but finding her. He thrashed around blindly, unable to open his eyes, and losing his sense of direction as the waves continued to pound the shore. Finally, he hit something that felt like a leg. He grabbed tightly and pulled as hard as he could as he fought his way to the surface. Relief washed over him as he heard Rey coughing and saw she was conscious. Gasping and spurting sea water, she could only clutch his shoulders as Ben half dragged her out of the water and they collapsed in the sand. 

“Jesus Christ, Rey, are you ok?” He framed her face with his hands, frantically looking for any signs of injury. “That was so stupid. I’m so sorry. I…”

“Did I w-w-win?” Rey chattered, breathing heavily, not seeming to notice that she was more than half naked in wet sand and Ben was fully clothed and dripping seawater. 

“What?”

“I won,” she panted, “didn’t I? Now I can f-f-finally turn off that depressing emo shit.”

Ben stared at Rey in disbelief. Of all the things she could have said, this was the last on the list of things he expected. He had no idea what to say. It was so ridiculous that he couldn’t help but laugh.  _ To hell with it _ , he thought, and pulled her into his arms.

“You are the craziest person I have ever met, do you know that?” he asked as he held her tightly. 

She wrapped her arms around him and said, “I think you’re probably right.”

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Ben stood up and held his hand out to Rey. At that moment, they both seemed to realize the situation she was in. Her completely soaked white bra was now see through, and Ben could see her dusky nipples hardened into inviting peaks through the thin fabric. Feeling her cheeks burning at his intense gaze, Rey pulled her knees up to shield herself. Ben stammered, “I’ll, uh get your clothes.” He rushed back to the pile of clothing she had haphazardly tossed aside and gathered it up for her. He politely turned his back as she pulled her clothes on over her wet underwear. They made their way quietly back to the car. After making sure she was settled, he headed back to the trunk to retrieve dry clothes, moving quickly to avoid being noticed as he changed behind the car.

Rey wasted no time once she was in the car. She immediately connected her phone to the speaker, set her Taylor Swift playlist to repeat, and huddled inside of a hoodie Ben had tossed to her, trying to get warm. As they drove, neither of them spoke of what had happened. Occasionally Ben could hear her humming along with the current song but otherwise she was subdued, even dozing off as they got closer to the next beach Ben was scheduled to shoot. 

He glanced at her sleeping occasionally as the songs continued to play. He was never one for paying attention to lyrics of songs. He listened to what had a good beat and that was it. But listening to the lyrics playing now, they just seemed to all be wrapped up in Rey.  _ “Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?” _ Ben could feel the impact of those words as he looked at her hair falling over her flushed cheeks. He felt like he’d known her his whole life. Those few seconds that he couldn’t get to her were the most frightening moments he had ever experienced. It unnerved him, but it also made him realize that he wanted more than just this weird road trip with her. He definitely wanted more. But would Rey? So soon after breaking up with a boyfriend? He didn’t know if anything would come from it, but he knew after what had happened today, he was certainly going to try.


	8. I Was Lying to Myself

Rey woke up feeling disoriented and uncomfortable. She had dried off underneath her clothes, but the sand was making her itchy. Her hair had dried in stiff waves, nothing like the beach chic you read about in style blogs. She felt like a wet dog. 

An overly warm, wet dog.

Glancing down at herself, Rey could see that Ben had covered her with a small blanket before leaving the car. Coupled with the hoodie she was wearing on top of everything else, and the sun blazing down on her, she felt hot, sweaty, and thirsty. Opening the car door to get out, she threw off the blanket, and began pulling off the hoodie, sending a silent prayer of thanks to the breeze that picked up at that moment to cool her flushed skin. 

“Woah! Sorry!” Rey heard Ben’s surprised voice and noticed a moment too late that she only felt the cool breeze on her torso because she had pulled her top up along with the hoodie - giving Ben his second show for the day. 

Panicked, Rey could only think to squeak out, “Help! My shirt!” as she attempted to unsuccessfully wiggle out of the sweatshirt while protecting her ever diminishing modesty. 

“Hold still,” Ben said. Rey could feel him gently guide her top back into place and help her pull the sweatshirt the rest of the way off. 

“Thank you,” Rey mumbled, keeping her gaze trained to their shoes. “Sorry about that.”

“No problem,” Ben chuckled softly. “Did you have a nice nap? How are you feeling?”

Rey looked up at Ben and saw genuine concern in his eyes. Her heart skipped a beat and she felt herself flush again. Only she knew it wasn’t from the heat. 

“Physically, I’m fine. Mentally? I feel ridiculous.” She looked away then, tears pricking her eyes. She was destined to spend their entire time together switching between doing stupid shit and crying. 

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Ben reached out and gave Rey’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “It was my fault. I shouldn’t have dared you. From now on we can work out a music schedule.”

“That’s nice of you to say, but I made the choice to do that, not you.” Rey bit her lip and looked back at Ben. “Thank you,” she said softly, “for saving me.” 

“You’re welcome,” he replied quietly. Rey could see that look again in his eyes. The same look from the night before. She wasn’t stupid. She knew he wanted to kiss her. He had wanted to last night too. But he stopped himself. What was holding him back? She took a hesitant step forward and watched as Ben sidestepped her, running his hand through his hair and sliding over to the trunk.. 

“I..uh.. have all I need today,” he said as he packed his gear into the car. “We should probably go check in to some rooms before it gets too late.”

* * *

  
“Hi dad. Just wanted to check in and let you know I’m ok.” Rey was seated cross-legged on the bed of her motel room, wrapped in a towel, and talking to her father. The motel check-in had been uneventful, with Rey swiftly paying for both rooms before Ben could get a word in. He was most likely settling into his own room, which, by luck—good or bad—was right next to Rey’s, connected by an inner door. Rey had to resist walking over and unlocking it as some kind of brazen invitation to Ben in case he were to get curious. 

Rey shook her head. She must have water on the brain from her stupid stunt that morning. She still felt embarrassed when she thought of how she had stood there in her underwear and dunked into the water and then got toppled over by the waves. The only thing she couldn’t reconcile was the look on Ben’s face when he pulled her out of the water, his clothes wet and clinging to him, leaving nothing to imagination. He was frantic, and scared, but there was relief there too. And something Rey couldn’t define. She was still thinking about it when she realized her father had been rambling this whole time and she hadn’t heard a word he had said. 

“I’m sorry, dad, what did you say?”

“Rey. Honey, are you ok?”

“I told you I was, dad. I’m fine. I just need some time to think.” 

“Poe is out of his mind, Rey. Can you please call him and let him know you’re alright?”

“Can’t you do it?” Rey knew she was being unreasonable, selfish, and whiny, but there was no way she was going to voluntarily call Poe until she had figured out what was going on with her and Ben. They had agreed to meet up for dinner, and she was determined to turn on the charm.

“That’s unfair, Rey. Poe deserves to…”

“FINE!” Rey snapped, not letting him finish. “I’ll call him tomorrow. Is that good for you?”   
“No need to use that tone, Rey…”   
“Ok dad. This has been fun. Talk to you later, bye!”

Rey pressed END CALL and threw the phone down onto the bed. She flopped down onto her back and sighed. Things would be so much easier if she’d just not gone to the roof with Poe. If she’d just said no to him. If she had any backbone at all. She lay staring at the ceiling, feeling sorry for herself when her phone chirped. She picked it up and saw she had a text from Kay.

**_Kay:_ ** _ ReyRey u ok? _

**_Rey_ ** _ : Yeah, y? _

**_Kay_ ** _ : Poe is acting REALLY weird. He keeps calling and texting and basically driving me nuts. _

**_Rose_ ** _ : OMG same! Like I’d tell that ass if I knew where you were. Sorry bb, but you know he gets on my nerves.  _

**_Rey_ ** _ : It’s ok. I guess I should tell you what happened. _

**_Rose_ ** _ : I am ALL ears 👂🏻  _

**_Kay_ ** _ : Yes you SHOULD! 🍿 👀 _

**_Rey_ ** _ : So...total short version. Yesterday I went to the bank to break up with Poe. _

**_Kay_ ** _ : I TOLD YOU ROSE! _

**_Rose_ ** _ : Shut up! 😝 Keep going Rey. _

**_Rey_ ** _ : And...well...he proposed...or he was going to propose. It was hazy, there was champagne and a Tiffany box. _

**_Rose_ ** _ : Oh shit. _

**_Rey_ ** _ : Yeah, so I kind of drank too much and ran off. Then, I got kind of frantic and when I left the bank I noticed the robbery _

**_Kay_ ** _ : That shit was CRAZY!  _

**_Rey_ ** _ : and there was a car at the corner, so I jumped in and pretended I was the robber and told the guy to drive and now here I am. _

**_Rose_ ** _ : What? _

**_Kay_ ** _ : WTF? _

**_Kay_ ** _ : What does that even MEAN? 🧐 _

**_Rey_ ** _ : There’s so much more to it. Like, way too much to text. But, he’s really sweet and funny and gorgeous and I think I really like him. _

**_Rose_ ** _ : Have you lost your mind Rey? Who even IS this guy? _

**_Kay_ ** _ : You’ve known the guy like 36 hours, Rey.  _

**_Rey_ ** _ : I KNOW. But...we’ve been on the road together this whole time and we’ve been talking and some stuff happened and I feel like there’s something there. I’ve never felt it before. Def not with P. _

**_Kay_ ** _ : WHAT STUFF HAPPENED???? 🍆 🍑  _

**_Rey_ ** _ : Not THAT. I mean...I kind of want it to? _

**_Rose_ ** _ : Rey are you sure? This is a weird situation… _

**_Kay_ ** _ : I think it’s kind of hot. Like a romcom _

**_Rose_ ** _ : You’re not helping, Kaydel! _

**_Kay_ ** _ : I’m being supportive! What’s he look like? Details! _

**_Rey_ ** _ : Hang on...I have a pic. _

As Rey sent the selfie she had of Ben to Rose and Kay, she thought she heard something from Ben’s room. Setting her phone down, she moved closer to the shared door. She leaned in and placed her ear on the cool metal door and listened. Her eyes widened as she realized what she was hearing. 

“You’re my, my, my, my...lover.”

Rey clapped her hand over her mouth to muffle the sound of her laughter. Ben was singing Taylor Swift in his hotel room. The sound of his voice through the door was equal parts hilarious and endearing. Smiling, Rey made her way back to the bed and picked up her phone. She felt lighter somehow. Happier - like she had won a battle. She read the messages the girls had left while she was distracted.

**_Rose_ ** _ : Hot damn. Yeah, forget what I said. Have at it. 👅 _

**_Kay_ ** _ : Girl, he’s cute! What does he do? Where is he from?  _

**_Rose_ ** _ : Wait, hold up. You didn’t ACTUALLY break up with Poe! Did you? _

**_Rey_ ** _ : Gotta go! Getting ready for dinner. _

**_Rose_ ** _ : GIRL _

**_Kay_ ** _ : Rey, does this guy know you are like half a virgin? 🙀🙅🏻♀️ _

**_Rey_ ** _ : OMG Kaydel I am not _

**_Kay_ ** _ : Close enough. It’s been like three years. _

**_Rey_ ** _ : I’m not talking about this. I’ll text you later. _

**_Rose_ ** _ : USE PROTECTION YOU HUSSY _

**_Rey_ ** _ : GOODBYE! _

Rey had to admit, Rose had a point. She should probably purchase something for later in case anything happened. In the meantime, she rifled through her bag and pulled out a soft, yellow sundress and a pair of strappy heels. Smiling to herself, she grabbed her makeup and headed into the bathroom to finish getting ready for dinner.

* * *

  
Rey had a hard time keeping her eyes off Ben from the moment he knocked on her door to walk to the restaurant adjacent to the motel. The first thing she noticed was that he wasn’t wearing his glasses. When she asked him about it, he made a comment about contacts and how he had an extra pair. It had surprised her, and being able to really notice his eyes without the glasses made it even harder to concentrate when he looked at her. The second thing she noticed was how good he looked in black. It was definitely a step up from the khaki zoo keeper outfit from the day before. Black jeans hugged his hips and thighs, topped with a soft, black, long sleeved sweater that made him look cuddly and dangerous all at the same time. It had been difficult to focus on dinner or anything else with him sitting across from her, looking like what Kaydel would call a “snack.” 

After the dinner had been cleared away and they were quietly sipping on their drinks, Rey turned to look at the small amount of people dancing. She hadn’t danced with anyone in a long time. It definitely wasn’t something Poe ever liked to do. Ben noticed what had caught her attention and asked, “Did you want to?” pointing to the dance floor. Rey watched the few couples out on the makeshift dance floor, swaying slowly to the music. She felt her cheeks burn and was glad for the dim light in the restaurant. The idea of dancing with Ben, having him pressed close to her, excited her, and she tried to not look overly enthusiastic as she turned back to him and nonchalantly said, “Sure.” 

She slipped her hand into Ben’s outstretched one and the contact felt like a zap of electricity, making her breathe a little heavier. She stood up and looked into Ben’s eyes, blushing as he smiled down at her. He led her out to the dance floor and drew her close, placing his hand around her waist. Rey’s breath hitched and she gasped at the contact, imagining what it would be like to feel his hand touch her bare skin. She tried to look anywhere but at Ben, afraid he would see the look in her eyes and know it for exactly what it was—shameless lust. She had been attracted to him from the start, but now Rey had to face the fact that she wanted Ben. Badly. She had never felt like this before, like she could drag him behind a pillar and have her way with him and not care who saw. It scared her. She bit her lip, and started to pull away when Ben leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “Relax. I won’t bite.” Rey’s responding laugh was a squeak that bordered on hysteria and she allowed him to pull her closer and move her in time to the music. Fantastic. Now all she could think about was him biting her. 

She took a calming breath and looked up at him. She was hyper aware of his hand on the small of her back, his body so close to hers, and his scent—spicy and almost sweet, like jasmine in the summer. She could feel his arm tighten around her and his hand gently stroking the small of her back. He leaned forward and softly said, “You look really beautiful, Rey. I like your dress.”

“Thank you,” she squeaked.  _ Dear God help me not sound like an idiot _ she thought.

“Rey,” Ben said. His face was dangerously close to hers.

“Yes,” she whispered, glancing from his eyes to his lips and back again.

Instead of responding with words, he gently pressed his lips to hers and reached his hand up to cup her cheek. Rey closed her eyes and snaked her arms up around his neck, kissing him back. She could feel her heartbeat quicken as he pulled her to his chest and began to deepen the kiss when a loud crash startled the both of them. They pulled back from each other as Rey felt her legs get splashed with the beverages that had fallen off of the server’s tray and crashed to the floor. Rey found herself covered with sticky soda and alcohol. Amidst the server’s apologies, Ben’s concern, and the stares from the rest of the patrons of the restaurant, Rey was on system overload. She couldn’t do this to him. Not until she ended things officially with Poe. Right? She was beginning to question her choices and needed to get away while she still had some dignity left. 

“I...I’m sorry, Ben,” she said, stepping away from him.

“Sorry for what?” Ben’s voice was husky from the kiss they had shared. Had he misread the situation? Did he do something wrong?  _ Of course, Solo _ , he thought to himself,  _ you know better than to mess around with a rich girl. You have nothing she wants or needs. _

“I need to go,” she said. And without another word, she hurried out of the restaurant, leaving Ben confused, concerned, and though he would never admit it, a little hurt. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Xoxo


	9. Shades of Gray and Candlelight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW chapter here. Enjoy!

_What a mess_ Rey thought as she finished brushing her teeth. She had cleaned up the sticky mess on her legs and rinsed off the dress, leaving it to dry over the shower rod. She scrubbed her face of makeup and let her hair down before climbing into bed. The cool sheets slipped over the satin on her pajamas, simultaneously soothing and stimulating her heated skin. She was so worked up, and nothing was helping. She had wanted Ben to kiss her. She’d wanted it so badly. And then when he finally did it, she got scared and ran off. Of all the stupid mistakes she had made, running away from him was the worst. It would make everything awkward from now on. She would be better off just leaving and going back home. She had to tell him she hadn’t officially broken up with Poe. She had to come clean and explain everything. He needed to know that she wasn’t going back to Poe. That she felt...something between the two of them. But she had no idea how to do it.

She had to…do _something_ to calm down. 

Rey slipped her hand down the waistband of her satin pajama shorts and had just begun to gently slide over herself when she heard a knock on the door. She snatched her hand away as if she had been burned and sat up, face scarlet with embarrassment. The knock came again, louder this time, and she could hear Ben’s voice through the door calling her name. 

“Rey? Are you still awake?”

Rey’s heart began to race. What was he doing here? Taking a moment to steady herself, she made her way to the door and opened it a crack. She didn’t know what to expect, but a shirtless Ben in boxer shorts was definitely not it. She gaped at him for a moment before looking up at his face. 

“Uh...where are your pants?” Rey blurted before she could stop herself. Ben laughed nervously.

“I was putting the do not disturb sign out and dropped it. I went to pick it up, and the door slammed shut, and I locked myself out. Can I come in and call the front desk so I’m not wandering around out here in my underwear?” He looked up and down the corridor, making sure he didn’t have an audience before looking back at Rey and raising his eyebrows in a questioning look. At that moment Rey had no idea what she should do. She only knew what she _wanted_ to do. In that split second she knew. _To hell with it. I’ll tell him later._

“Rey?”

“Huh? Oh! Yeah, yes, come in.” She stepped back to allow him in and gestured to the phone on the desk. Ben moved past her and picked up the phone. Rey watched him move and shivered with anticipation. She could see his back muscles, rippling down to a slim waist and the boxers resting on his hips. She imagined wrapping her legs around those hips and almost groaned out loud. She was officially sure that she had lost her mind. Her pajama bottoms were starting to become uncomfortably wet and she wanted him to feel what he had done to her. She didn’t care anymore. This was the strongest attraction she had ever felt with anyone and she wanted to give in to it. Being the person she was, she made the decision, right then and there, that she would go to bed with Ben Solo. 

“Hi, yeah, I’m in room 219 and I’ve locked myself…” Ben heard the line go dead at the same time he saw Rey’s hand press the button on the phone cradle. Surprised, he looked up at her, seeing a look in her eyes that set his heart racing and gave him a growing tightness in his shorts. He set the phone down and said, “Rey?”

“You know...you could always stay here,” she said in a low voice. “There’s an...um...extra bed. Or that one,” she pointed to the rumpled bed by the door. “It’s mine. But, I could share?”

Ben could feel his body react instantly to her invitation. He hoped she understood what it was she was asking, because the way she looked in those silky pjs had his head swimming and all he could think about was touching her to feel how they would slide over her body. 

“Rey...what are you saying? I thought...before?”

“I think you know what I’m saying, Ben. I know what happened before was, I don’t know...confusing? I wanted to kiss you, but I was overwhelmed and I wasn't sure what to do. Now, I am sure. So, for consent’s sake, just so you know, I want you to kiss me. And then I want you to take me to bed.”

That was all the invitation Ben needed. He grabbed her arm and yanked her to him, groaning as her soft body hit him.

“Are you really sure?” he asked, wanting to make sure he had her a hundred percent on board before they went any further. 

“Yes. I’m sure. Only…”

Ben frowned. “What?”

“I need to tell you something first.”

“Okay. What is it?”

“I’m...uh...I’m not very good at it,” Rey flushed and looked at the floor, staring at her toes squishing into the carpet. “At least, I don't think I am. I’ve only done it twice. Once in high school. And he said it was really bad. And then Poe, well he seemed to think it was ok, but I wasn’t crazy about it and I told him I didn’t want to again so it was just that one time. And he didn’t like that but he said fine and I just feel like I don’t want you to be disappointed, but I’ve never wanted to do it this bad and I just thought you should know.” Everything came out in a rush, bombarding Ben with so much knowledge to process. He went through a flurry of emotions, confusion, surprise, and compassion, before settling on anger.

“God what a couple of assholes,” he said. 

Rey’s head shot up in surprise. “What?!” she said. It was not even close to the response she was expecting. She figured he’d pick the phone back up and continue in his mission to get back into his room and away from her. “What?” she said again.

“I said what a couple of assholes,” he reached up and touched her cheek, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. “How could anyone be around you and not be absolutely driven crazy by you? How could anyone not want to spend hours driving you crazy? Just to watch you move, to watch you come?” Rey blushed and looked back down again, but Ben tilted her chin up with his finger to look in her eyes. “From the minute you pulled that stupid hat off your head and I saw your face, all I could think about was touching you,” his hand slowly ran down the side of her face, down her neck, and on to her collarbone, “kissing you,” he bent his head down and slowly brushed his lips softly over hers, “and tasting you.” He placed a kiss on the side of her neck, his tongue gently flicking out to taste her. Rey moaned softly at his words. This was unreal. She couldn’t believe he could get her any wetter just talking to her. Still, trepidation and self-doubt crept in and she looked at him and said, “Really?”

Ben could feel his heart constrict as Rey looked up at him with the saddest eyes. He wanted to take the idiot high schooler and her idiot ex-boyfriend and bash both their heads together for making her feel any less than the beautiful, sexy woman she was. Placing a hand on either side of her face he leaned towards her and whispered, “Really.”

The touch of his lips on hers was soft, but firm. Rey could feel Ben’s thumbs brush over her cheekbones as he moved his mouth over hers. Timidly, she parted her lips, and he took advantage and slowly slipped his tongue inside her mouth, tasting and seeking hers as he angled his head and moved in closer. Rey moaned as his chest came into contact with hers, her nipples sensitive under the satin camisole.

She reached her hands up to touch him and delighted in his groan when she slid her hands up over the front of him and around his neck. He skimmed his hands down the sides of her camisole, feeling the satin slide under his hands as he made his way down to touch her stomach. Sliding underneath the hem, he slowly pushed the fabric up and over her breasts. Rey closed her eyes and savored the sensation of the soft material brushing her heated skin. 

Ben lifted the flimsy top over her head and threw it to the floor. For a moment he just stood and stared at Rey, delighting in the way her body reacted to him. Her pert breasts were tipped with rosy pink nipples that tightened in response to being exposed to the air in the room. Rey shivered and began to draw her arms around herself, unsure of how to proceed and feeling insecure at Ben’s intense gaze. 

“No,” he whispered. He reached up and took her hand in his. “It’s ok, I just wanted to look at you. You’re incredible.” He bent down to kiss her again and as soft and sweet gave way to hard and intense, Rey could feel his hands sliding back up to caress the soft peaks of her breasts. She sighed into his mouth with relief and pleasure at finally being touched the way she had fantasized about. The deeper his kisses got, the harder her nipples became, and Ben rolled the sensitive peaks between his fingers, dragging deep, throaty moans from her. He dragged his mouth from hers and began to press hot, wet kisses down her neck, nibbling and licking a trail down towards the valley between her breasts. Rey’s breathing was ragged and she squirmed, wanting him to go faster, knowing his goal and aching for him. When he finally reached her nipple and his tongue slid lazily over the hardened tip, Rey cried out and ran fingers through his hair, bringing him closer and encouraging him to take all she had to give. He drew her nipple into his mouth and sucked until Rey felt like her knees would buckle...she tugged on his thick hair with a whimper, and he looked up at her and smiled, causing her core to clench.

Rey grasped Ben’s shoulders for support. She didn’t think she could take much more of this standing up. If he continued what he was doing she just might collapse in a puddle on the floor. Ben took her hand in his and walked her over to the bed and sat down, pulling her sideways onto his lap. He pulled her down for another kiss that was rougher than before. He attacked her mouth, licking and tasting. Rey matched his kisses in intensity. It was like drinking cool clear water on a sunny day. The taste of his mouth was sunshine and sea air and the more she had, the more she wanted. She moaned into his mouth and turned her body to straddle his hips. Ben stopped her with his hands and pulled back, breathing heavily, a look of realization on his face.

“Rey,” he frowned, “I don’t have any protection.” He groaned and closed his eyes in frustration. He hadn’t even thought this would be possible, and now here she was, topless, panting, writhing on his erection, and he was hard as a rock, and they had to stop. 

“Um…hang on,” Rey climbed up off of him and turned around, making her way swiftly to her bag on the desk chair. She reached in and pulled out a small box and walked back to him, head down, hiding her face so he couldn’t see her embarrassment. She handed him the box and quietly said, “I um...didn’t want to presume, but I kind of hoped…woah!” Ben pulled her down to the bed before she could finish what she was saying. 

“You’re so fucking amazing,” Ben said. Rey laughed as he bent to kiss her. She sighed into his mouth and he kissed her deeply, tangling his tongue with hers. He ended the kiss with a gentle bite into Rey’s soft lower lip and hummed in pleasure. 

“Tell me what you want, Rey,” he said to her as he pressed kisses across her collarbone. Rey gasped when he gently slid his tongue over her other nipple, giving it the attention it’s twin had just enjoyed. 

“What...ahh...what do you mean?” she breathed. She wanted him. Couldn’t he tell?

“I mean, show me how you want me to make you come,” he murmured across her skin, leaving goosebumps in his wake. “Show me what you do to that beautiful body that will make you wet. Make it easy for me to slide inside you. Tell me.”

Rey groaned and covered her eyes with her arm. Part of her was so excited at the things he was saying to her. The way he said _inside you_ jolted her with an electric charge. She was also mortified at the thought of him seeing her touch herself.

“Don’t be shy. It’s ok. I want to see what you do. You’re so fucking hot, Rey, don’t you know that?”

“No,” she said quietly.

“God, you’re driving me crazy. You’ve been driving me crazy from the moment I saw you. You are so beautiful,” he said, kissing his way down her stomach. “So. Fucking. Beautiful,” punctuating each word with a kiss.

Rey took a deep breath and grabbed Ben’s hand before he could go any further. He looked up at her and she locked eyes with him as she slowly drew his hand lower to her pajama bottoms. He hooked his fingers inside the waistband and raised an eyebrow at her. Rey nodded and Ben pulled them off her, baring her from the waist down. His eyes went wide with hunger as he gazed down at her. Rey reached for his hand again and, keeping her eyes on him, guided it down between her legs. He groaned when he first touched hot wetness. She held his hand the whole time, sliding his fingers over her clit, showing him just where and how to vary the pressure. Ben watched as Rey’s head fell back onto the bed and she bit down on the back of her hand to stifle her moan.

“God you’re wet. And so soft. You’re like touching silk.” He pulled her hand away from her face and kissed her until she was breathless, all the while massaging her aching clit. 

“Don’t hide from me, sweetheart. Let me hear you,” he said. 

“Oh god,” Rey groaned. Everything he was saying and doing was making her crazy. She was bucking and thrashing like a wild woman and loving every second of it. She made soft whimpering sounds as he moved again towards her breasts, his hand still working her clit and sliding around her, spreading her wetness all over and making her ache for more. 

“Oh, Ben,” she said. She wanted him inside her and didn’t know how to ask for it. 

“You want me to touch you here?” he gently inserted the tip of his finger inside her and withdrew it, causing her to clutch at him and groan out a broken, “y-yesss,” hissing as he slid in again, just a little further this time. 

“Do you like that Rey? Do you want a little more?” She was incredible, lying there completely transformed into some beautiful sex goddess. Ben couldn’t believe she had ever thought she’d be bad at this. He wanted to make this good for her, but he was so hard he thought he’d explode. He slid his finger all the way inside her and she bucked her hips off the bed with a shout. He smiled and slid a second finger inside of her and watched as she writhed and panted. He could feel her tension building and it excited him. 

“Talk to me Rey. Tell me what you want.”

“I want you inside me. Make me come, Ben.”

He slipped his fingers out of her and grabbed the box of condoms. He tore into it and pulled one out, ripping it open with his teeth. Rey watched, eyes wide, as he pulled off his boxer shorts and she saw his erection - long, hard, and amazing. 

“Good lord,” she said. Holding out her hand, she looked up and breathed, “Let me.”

Ben thought he would die as Rey grabbed the condom he held out to her and gently grasped him, rolling it down over his painfully hard cock. She looked up at him and grinned, enjoying the way his breathing faltered and his eyes went almost black. She braced her feet onto the bed and leaned back, crooking her finger at him. He smiled back and moved forward, never looking away from her eyes as he slowly positioned himself at her entrance. 

“You’re sure?” he asked. 

“Yes! God please Ben!” she replied. 

He slid inside her so excruciatingly slow, Rey thought she would lose her mind. He felt better than she had imagined. Better than she had ever felt before. When he had filled her completely he began to move—the fire that had cooled slightly ignited again and she moved with him, panting with each thrust and closing her eyes to savor the feeling as the tightness began to overtake her. She couldn’t control herself and her moans just seemed to get louder every time he drove into her. She didn’t care. The closer she got the more painfully exquisite it was. She just needed a little more. “Please,” she said.

Ben reached down between them and found her again, swirling her wetness around as he moved faster inside her. 

“Oh. My. God!” Rey shouted as everything inside her seemed to come apart at once and she shook with the first orgasm she’d ever had without batteries. 

“Fuck!” Ben could feel her tighten around him and it drove him over the edge. He shouted as he came with one last thrust and Rey felt a weird sense of pride at having gotten that reaction from him. She felt almost giddy and wrapped her arms around him, rolling to her side with him as he collapsed so he wouldn’t crush her. 

“You are very much not bad at that at all,” Ben said. As he slid out of her, he planted a loud, wet kiss on her with a smack. Rey giggled and said, “That was...fantastic.”

They both looked at each other then, and realizing the absurdity of their situation, they both burst out laughing. He leaned down and kissed her once more. This time it was achingly sweet and soft and Rey felt dizzy with desire all over again. When Ben pulled back to look at her, Rey could see he wanted to say something. The look in his eyes made her pulse quicken. He smiled instead and said, “I’ll be right back.”

“Will you…” Rey faltered, nerves starting to overwhelm her. “Did you...want to stay?”

Ben’s smile would have been enough, but he leaned in and kissed her again. As he broke off, he whispered, “I’m all yours...lover.”

Rey giggled, “I told you you’d like her music.”

His answering grin and wink made Rey shiver. 

“It’s growing on me.” He turned and entered the bathroom and Rey flopped back onto the sheets in a daze, giddy with satisfaction. She chose to focus on that and Ben’s touch instead of the warning bells in the back of her mind and the sense of impending dread threatening to overtake her. 


	10. X Marks the Spot Where We Fell Apart

The staff at Wheeler and Johnson Bank usually tried to avoid having any interaction with branch manager Poe Dameron on a good day. Punctual to a fault, detail oriented, and a stickler for decorum, Poe was not the easiest man to work for. On this particular Thursday morning, however, the unspoken agreement in the bank was that he was to be avoided at all cost. Everyone knew to some extent what had happened two days earlier. Mr. Dameron’s girlfriend had run out on him during his fancy planned proposal. No one was really sure if he ever went through with it and she said no, or if she just jumped ship at the first sign of trouble, but those who had assisted with the planning and cleanup knew that it did not go well. Any man would be irritable after being dumped during a fancy proposal. Add an attempted bank robbery no more than five minutes later, and you had a recipe for one really pissed off boss. The entire staff had been sidestepping him for the last two days, eager to stay out of his way and avoid his wrath.

As Poe strode through the lobby of the bank, he couldn’t help but notice how nobody would make eye contact with him. Usually he preferred it that way, and didn’t have the time or desire to attempt any inter office friendships. Usually, he ignored everyone by choice and didn’t notice how they scattered like rats when he made his way to his office. Now, after two days of humiliation, their skittish behavior seemed more pronounced. Poe could feel his ears redden with the flush of anger and irritation. He stared straight ahead, ignoring the sparse utterances of “Good morning, Mr. Dameron” from the few who were brave enough or had been at the bank long enough that they no longer cared. 

He made his way past his own office and headed straight to Rey’s father’s office. He walked in without knocking—he was too worked up to care this morning. 

“Morning, Poe,” Rian’s measured voice belied his true feelings. Poe could see worry etched into Rian’s face. His eyes looked tired, as if he hadn’t slept well the last two nights. That definitely made two of them. 

“Rian, have you talked to her?”

Sighing, Rian stood up and walked around his desk, gesturing for Poe to join him in the leather armchairs on the opposite side of the office. Poe indulged him and sat, his irritation manifesting in the drum of his fingers on the arm of his chair. 

“Have you talked to her?” Poe repeated.

“I did talk to her last night,” Rian replied, his tone laced with disappointment. Clearly Rey had not talked to Poe yet. He had hoped she would follow through with what she said as soon as possible. 

“Last night?!” Poe was fighting to keep his voice down and his anger in check. “Why didn’t you say anything? Where is she?”

“Calm down, son, I…”

“I won’t calm down!” Poe interrupted. He was beginning to lose it. He knew he shouldn’t antagonize Rian, but enough was enough. He had to play his cards right or he could end up ruining everything he had worked so hard to build. He took a deep breath and said, “I’m sorry, Rian, but how am I supposed to react when my fiancé runs off and won’t talk to me for two days?”

“Wait,” Rian said, “you never told me she said yes!”

“She’s going to be my wife, Rian,” Poe replied with conviction. Rian didn’t need to know that Poe hadn’t gotten around to asking, officially, since Rey went haywire and took off. Those details could be worked out later. 

Rian sighed with what looked like relief. “I did talk to her last night. She said she’d call today. She’s probably just on a shopping trip. Wedding stuff. That makes sense because she said she was with a friend.”

“A friend? What friend?”

“She didn’t tell me and I didn’t press it. She said she was going down the coast for a few days and not to worry. Just give her some time, Poe. You know how she is.” Rian smiled and patted Poe on the arm. “She’ll be back soon and in the meantime, I’ll have my assistant get started planning the engagement party. How does that sound?”

Poe managed a weak smile. “Fine, boss. Sounds just fine.”

“Good. In the meantime, try to relax. We’ll see our girl soon.” 

Poe nodded and left Rian’s office, replaying the conversation in his head. He closed his office door behind him. Time. Rian had said give her time. Poe huffed our a breath. Screw that. She’d had two days. That was enough time to figure herself out or whatever it was she needed to do. He was going to talk to her, find out where she was, and bring her back home. They would get engaged, officially, get married, and he’d become the president when the old man retired. He almost had the brass ring, and he wasn’t going to let Rey fuck it up for him. Not when he was this close. 

First thing he needed to do was figure out which friend she was with. Sitting down at his desk, Poe decided to start with calling Rose, the lesser of two evils as far as he was concerned. Locating her number, he hit the call button and waited. She answered on the second ring. 

“Hello?”

“Rose? Hey, it’s Poe. Have you heard from Rey?” 

After a short pause, he heard Rose audibly sigh, “Yes.”

Expecting something more than the substandard response she gave him, Poe had a difficult time keeping the frustration out of his voice and barely managed a polite, “Well?”

“Well what Poe? I’m sure if Rey wanted to talk to you she would.” 

“Do you know where she is?”

“No,” Rose wasted no time responding, Poe noticed. She had to be lying. 

“I don’t believe you,” he said. 

“I don’t give a shit,” Rose replied, matter-of-factly. 

“You’re really just not going to help at all? She blocked my calls and won’t tell me or her father where she is.”

“Look,” Poe could hear the weariness in Rose’s voice and knew from experience that this meant the end of the conversation, “whatever is going on between you two is your business. I need to get ready for work.”

Without giving him another chance to respond, Rose had ended the call. Poe gritted his teeth and moved from the second least favorite of Rey’s friends, to the top dog - Kaydel Connix. He and Kaydel had never gotten along. She routinely commented on how old Poe was and made it a point to dig at him any time she could, no matter what the occasion. This was not going to be easy. He dialed the number she had reluctantly given him after Rey had told her that Poe should have it in case of an emergency. He cursed when he heard the voicemail click on after the first ring. Her gratingly deceptive sing-song voice barely hid her disdain in the outgoing message. 

_ “Hi! You’ve reached Kaydel and if you know me you know that I’m not gonna answer this shit so like, whatever. Who makes phone calls anymore?” _

This was then followed by a recorded voice stating that the voicemail inbox was full. 

_ Shit _

He moved to the messaging app and opened it, typing in Kaydel’s name. He hoped she would at least answer texts. 

**_Poe:_ ** _ Kaydel I need to talk to you. Can you answer your phone? Have you heard from Rey? _

**_Kaydel:_ ** _ The caller you have reached cannot answer the phone right now please leave a message after the beep _

**_Poe_ ** _ : Dammit Kaydel quit screwing around! I need to know where she is! _

**_Kaydel:_ ** _ BEEP _ 🖕🏻

Poe threw his phone on the desk. This was getting him nowhere. He didn’t want to waste time going down the list of Rey’s obnoxious friends. Instead he picked up his desk phone and pressed the button for his assistant. 

“Yes, Mr. Dameron? How can I help you, sir?”

“Mitaka, I need you to do something for me.”

“Of course sir,” Mitaka’s reedy voice came through the line eager, yet fearful. 

“I need you to find out where Miss Johnson last used her credit card.”

  
  
  
  
  



	11. Should've Known I'd Be the First to Leave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter here is NSFW. Just FYI. Enjoy!

  
Rey was having an incredible dream. She was laying on her side and Ben’s arms were around her, his hands caressing her breasts and his lips trailing kisses down the side of her neck and across her back and shoulders. 

“Ohhh, Ben,” she breathed. She felt a hand slide down her abdomen and slide in between her thighs.

“Good morning,” Ben whispered in her ear. His hot breath fluttered the curls at her neck and Rey moaned, her eyes flew open and she realized this was so much better than a dream. The memories of the night before came flooding back to her and she arched her back, pressing her backside into his hips and feeling him harden at her touch. She gasped as he slid a finger into her slippery, hot entrance. It was his turn to moan at the feel of her.

“God, Rey, how are you already so wet?” 

“I’ve been dreaming about you,” Rey answered, grinding her hips into him and sighing every time he slid his fingers slowly inside of her.

“Mmmm,” Ben hummed into the side of her neck, “I like that. I was dreaming about you too. When I woke up and saw you next to me, I wanted to have a little breakfast.”

Rey giggled, confused. “What?” she said, then gasped as Ben rolled her onto her back and began kissing his way down her abdomen. “Wha-What are you doing?” she asked as he began to press wet kisses on her thighs.

“I told you,” he said, “I wanted breakfast.”

“Oh, OH! Oh God!” At the touch of his tongue on her, Rey cried out in surprise. She had read about this in books, and thought it sounded interesting, if a little embarrassing, but she had never imagined what it would feel like to have it happen to her. The feel of his mouth on her was amazing. Far from being embarrassed, she found she wanted more. With a long moan, as Ben slipped his tongue inside of her, she threaded her fingers through his hair, arching her back and pulling him into her hips. On he went, licking and tasting her, taking his time and driving her crazy. She could feel the gentle hum of his chuckle as he moved higher and flicked his tongue back and forth over her most sensitive spot. Every swirl, every lick, every change in pressure drove Rey higher and higher. When Ben pressed his soft lips on her clit and began to suck, it was more than she could take. Everything inside of her came apart in a shuddering explosion and she pulled on his hair until he looked up at her. The sight of him between her legs, hair a mess, smirking at her, made her want _him_ to feel just as good. She sat up and moved toward him. 

“Can I do that to you?” she asked. His answering smile made her blush. She bit her lip and looked away, suddenly feeling shy. “I mean...you’ll have to...I don’t know,” Rey sighed in frustration. “I’ve never done it before.”

“You don’t have to,” he said. 

“No, I want to,” she said shyly. She reached out to touch him, marveling at his size and the feel of him, hot and hard. She tentatively wrapped her hand around him, squeezing gently. “Just help me out,” she whispered. 

He groaned at her touch and said, “You can do whatever you feel comfortable with. Just, uh, no teeth.”

Rey snorted and hid her face in his side as she giggled. He reached down and ran his hand through her hair. 

“You are so beautiful.” Her cheeks pinked at his compliment, and Ben felt something tighten in his chest. He couldn’t believe this beautiful woman was willingly here with him. She was amazing and fearless and funny and he wanted to keep her with him for as long as she would stay. Not just to San Diego, but after. He didn’t think he could let her go now. 

He watched as she carefully, slowly, darted her tongue out to taste him, once, twice, tiny licks to test the waters. Then, surprising him, she licked a slow trail from the base to the tip, before taking him into her mouth. Her tongue swirled around him and he groaned. She was going to kill him and he was completely okay with that. He watched her slide her hand up and down his length as she took what she could into her mouth. It was exciting to watch her, knowing that it was the first time she had done it. He could feel himself getting close as she continued on and on, alternating licking, sucking, and swirling her tongue around the tip. She looked up at him, her cheeks hollowing out as she sucked hard and that was his tipping point. He grunted and threw his arm up over his face as he lost all control.

Rey could feel him stiffen beneath her as he climaxed. She felt it pump into her mouth quickly. It wasn’t pleasant, but she could handle it. She swallowed quickly and sat up, biting her lip and avoiding eye contact. 

“Was..that ok?” she asked him. 

At the sound of her soft voice, filled with trepidation and insecurity, Ben reached up and pulled her down for a kiss. “It was more than ok.” Tucking her hair behind her ear he smiled at her and winked, enjoying the pink blush that swept across her freckled cheeks. “You are something else.”

She smiled then, visibly relaxing and lying herself down gently on his chest. They lay there for several minutes, not speaking, just listening to each other breathing while Ben lazily caressed Rey’s arm. 

“Did you buy a swimsuit?” he asked her finally.

“Actually, yeah, I did.”

“Let’s have a shower. Then you can put it on. Let’s have an old fashioned beach day.”

“I am so down with that,” Rey said.

“Then let’s go, bank robber Barbie,” he teased, and picking her up, he carried her into the bathroom and proceeded to carry out his previous fantasy of rose scented bubbles and Rey’s soft, soapy skin.

  
  


* * *

They walked down to the beach hand in hand, glancing at each other occasionally and sharing shy smiles. Ben carried his camera bag in the other hand and Rey carried a picnic brunch Ben had purchased at the shop next to the motel. Rey saw that among the fruits and cheeses, he had made sure to include blueberry muffins and a roll of butter rum lifesavers. She smiled and felt a rush of happiness at the thoughtful gesture. He already knew little things about her and remembered them, for no other reason than because he was a good person. _I don’t deserve his thoughtfulness_ , she thought to herself. The happiness dissipated and she felt a wave of guilt begin to overwhelm her. She shook it off. There would be time to handle the Poe situation later today. She’d call Poe, make a clean break, and explain it to Ben. Then they’d carry on with their trip and further explore whatever was happening between them. For now, she just wanted to spend the time enjoying Ben’s company, and sharing the beautiful day with him.

The sound of the birds and the waves hitting the shore was the perfect soundtrack to the day. The sun was bright in a cloudless sky, sparkling on the surface of the water. They spread the blanket they swiped from the motel closet on the sand and placed their food, shoes, and Ben’s camera equipment on the corners so the wind wouldn’t pick it up. Rey watched as Ben pulled off his soft cotton tee shirt. It was fascinating to watch him remove it, reaching back behind his neck and pulling it over his head, tousling his hair in the process. How could he make removing a shirt look so appetizing? She stood staring at his strong, toned torso, remembering how she had explored his body, how he had felt on top of her, inside of her. His hands, his tongue, his...

“REY!”

“WHAT?!”

“I said quit ogling me and let’s get into the water,” his eyes were sparkling with suppressed laughter. Rey huffed in irritation. 

“I wasn’t ogling,” she mumbled, petulantly.

“You so were. I could read it all over your face. Admit it. You want my body.”

“Oh god, shut up, Solo,” she laughed and pulled off the sundress she had slipped on over her suit, revealing the white string bikini she had purchased on the off chance they would have the time to enjoy the ocean. She smiled smugly back at Ben when she heard his audible reaction to her very revealing suit.

“Oh really? Now who’s ogling?” she teased.

“I freely admit it,” he laughed. “I absolutely want your body. Any way I can get it.” With that he bent down, quick as a flash, and snatched her up in a fireman's carry and ran toward the water, ignoring Rey’s squeals and ineffectual swats as she hollered for him to put her down. 

* * *

They spent the day splashing and playing in the water, followed by a picnic, Ben taking some more photos of the beach, and relaxing on the blanket in the late summer sun. Ben watched Rey as she lay back with her eyes closed, her hair fanned out above her, her tanned skin glowing in the sun, dotted with freckles. He lifted his camera and snapped a shot of her. She opened her eyes and smiled at him. 

“That’s not fair,” she said. “I wasn’t ready.” She sat up and puckered her lips, batting her eyelashes in a cartoonish way. “Ok now.”

Laughing, Ben snapped the picture and set the camera down, moving forward to kiss her puckered lips. Rey sighed into the kiss, resting her hand on the side of his face. Breaking away, she looked at him and said, “My turn.”

She picked up her phone and held it in front of them, snapping selfies as they made faces for the camera, smiling, kissing, and laughing. She texted the pictures to Ben and set the phone back down. 

“So,” Rey said, leaning back against him, her back on his chest and head on his shoulder, “remind me again what these pictures are for. A travel blog?”

“Magazine,” Ben replied, idly playing with Rey's hair and running his fingers over her shoulders. “My best friend from school, Tai, works for a travel magazine, writing articles and stuff. He got me this job and I’m hoping they like my work enough to buy some and give me some more assignments.”

“You sound like you really enjoy it.”

“I do,” he said. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.”

“I admire that about you,” Rey said. “Doing what you want and not worrying about what your family thinks.” Her voice faltered and she changed the subject. “Anyway, I can’t wait to see the pictures when you’re all finished.”  
Hearing that made Ben’s stomach tighten. Did she mean she wanted to continue this...relationship? If that’s what this was. He turned her to him and decided to just bite the bullet and say what he felt. “Rey?”

“Yeah?”

“I...um...know this may sound strange, because I’m not sure how you feel or anything and I know this is new and we’ve only known each other a really short time, but…” Ben could feel his heart beating in his ears, his nervousness manifesting in a dry mouth and sweaty palms. It had been an incredibly long time since he felt anything even close to whatever he was feeling for Rey. _Please don’t let me scare her off,_ he thought.

“But…?” Rey repeated. 

“I’d, um, like to still see you. You know...after San Diego. That is...I mean...if you’re interested.” There. He’d done it. He braced himself for her response, his heart pounding wildly.

Her answering smile lit up her whole face and she threw her arms around him, kissing his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, and finally, softly, his lips. Resting her forehead to his, she answered, “I’d like that.”

He smiled then, a slow, sexy smile that made Rey flush. He leaned in and kissed her again, his tongue sliding inside to taste her. She opened her mouth wider, allowing him to deepen the kiss, and let out a small whimper when he dragged his mouth away and began to kiss the sensitive spot beneath her ear. “Let’s get out of here,” he whispered hotly against her neck.

“I’d like that even more,” she breathed out raggedly as he pulled away from her and they began to gather up their things to head back to the motel.

* * *

The short trip back was filled with soft touches and quick, furtive kisses. By the time they reached her room, they were pulling at each other, desperate to get closer. They crashed through the door, throwing items all over the second bed, covering Ben’s things that he had brought over earlier in the day. They had canceled his room and decided to share the one instead, knowing they wouldn’t need two again for the rest of the trip. 

Ben lifted Rey by the hips and she wrapped her legs around him, the thin material of her bikini bottoms allowing her to feel the heat of his torso as he pulled her close. She moaned into his mouth as he carried her towards the bed, tugging at her dress and pulling it over her head. They were frantic in their movements, tugging and pulling clothes off of one another and kissing every part of their bodies as they were exposed. They collapsed together onto the bed, and Rey pushed Ben down on his back when he tried to get up. She grabbed a condom off the bedside table and opened it, taking it out and gently rolling it down him, watching his eyes flutter closed at her touch. She straddled him then and slowly sank down onto him, loving the way he filled her up until she didn’t know where he began and she ended. 

Quickly, Rey began to move. There would be nothing slow about it this time. She was desperate to feel him as she moved. In this position she couldn’t believe how deep he was inside of her. She felt like a wild woman who could not get enough. She moved faster, frantically writhing on top of him as he groaned and reached up to caress her breasts and wrap his arms around her, sitting up and thrusting up inside of her as she threw her head back and moaned loudly, not caring who could hear her. She could feel the tightness inside her begin to coil, building and building until she lost all control and shouted as she came so hard she saw stars and still she couldn’t stop moving. She wanted more, and he met her every step of the way, harder and faster, his mouth on her neck, her collarbones, taking her nipple in his mouth and sucking hard. He reached between them and ran his thumb over her clit, pressing in rhythmic circles until Rey couldn’t believe she was coming again. This time, she wasn’t alone and she could feel Ben stiffen and swell with his orgasm.

“Fuck, Rey!” he shouted as he thrust one final time, burying his face in her neck and panting as Rey slid her hands through his hair, both of them murmuring unintelligible words of satisfaction and praise as Ben lay back on the bed, cradling Rey in his arms as he readjusted her to his side. He grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing her knuckles and threading his fingers through hers.

“Wow,” Ben said

“Yeah,” Rey replied, breathing heavily. “Now I’m hungry.”

“You are always hungry,” Ben laughed.

“This is true,” she kissed his stomach and rested her chin on his chest. “Want me to get something for you?”

“You stay here,” Ben told her. “I’ll get you a big greasy burger and fries.”

“You sweet talker, you.”

Chuckling, Ben dressed quickly, throwing on his swim trunks and tee shirt. He bent down and kissed Rey hard and fast, murmuring against her lips, “Back soon.”

She smiled back and flopped onto the pillows, a contented sigh escaping her swollen lips. Glancing around for her phone, she saw it laying across the room and got up to retrieve it. It felt naughty walking around the room naked just waiting for him to return. She switched on her phone to text Rose and Kaydel.

_**Rey** : OMG you guys!!!_

_**Kay** : Girl, I have been WAITING 4EVAH!!!_ Details!

_**Rose** : ReyRey did you do the deed?! Tell us EVERYTHING!_

_**Rey** : AMAZING! He’s amazing. _

_**Rose** : Our girl finally got dicked down proper. Bless 🙌🏻_

_**Rey** : LMAO Rose you’re insane_

_**Kay** : Oooooh yeah. More more more_

_**Rey** : I can’t wait to see you two. I can’t text all the details, Ben went to get us some dinner. But when I get back to SF, girls nite FOR SURE!_

_**Rose** : That’s sweet of him. _

_**Kay** : When will you be back? Poe won’t leave us alone._

_**Rey** : Well…_

_**Kay** : Well...what???_

_**Rey** : I’ll call Poe. I’ll tell him everything is over and he needs to stop bothering you two. But, I won’t be back for a bit._

_**Rose** : What do you mean?_

_**Rey** : i’m going to hang out with Ben for a while. We are going to go to San Diego for his job, and then after. But it’s up in the air. We are just going to take our time and see what happens. _

_**Rose** : OMG_

_**Kay** : Wow. _

_**Rey** : No schedules, no nothing. Just exploring the coast._

_**Kay** : You mean exploring BEN’S 🍆 _

_**Rose** : LMAO_

_**Rey** : I’m blushing. LOL. Oh I took some pics today. I’ll send them._

She found the selfies she had taken that afternoon and texted them to her friends. 

_**Kay** : You two are so cute! OMG bby girl you look amazeballs in that suit!_

_**Rose** : Seriously, such a cute couple! Can’t wait to meet him!_

_**Rey** : Hey you guys, he’s knocking on the door. He’s a goofball and always forgetting his key. LOL I gotta go. Talk soon. Xoxo_

Rey tossed her phone on the bed and stretched, delighting in the feel of her pleasantly sore muscles. A second, louder knock came and she laughed out loud. “Hang on! I’m still not dressed. I need to put something on!” She caught sight of his black shirt from the night before laying on the bed. It was a bit loose on him, so when she pulled it on, it covered everything important well enough to answer the door. She felt like a little kid playing dress up in the oversized thing, but it felt soft on her bare skin and still smelled enough like him to make her want him all over again. Maybe dinner could wait and she could just pull him back inside for another go. She giggled once more and herself and said, “Did you forget your key?” 

Rey opened the door and froze, the smile and all color draining from her face. It felt as if everything was spinning around her as she stared into the eyes of Poe Dameron.


	12. We Never Had a Shotgun Shot in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter is relatively short, but it is where we board the pain train. I want to include a CW for verbal abuse, some offensive language, and physical aggression. If this is a trigger for you, please skip from "What am I doing here?" and pickup at "Rey was frozen in shock."
> 
> Thank you for reading.   
> xoxo

“Well this is real fucking cute,” Poe snapped as he looked Rey up and down. Ben’s shirt had seemed sufficient enough for Rey to open the door, but all of a sudden she felt as if she were standing naked in front of Poe. She might as well be considering his reaction. He glared at her and she could sense the fury building up inside of him. She glanced down at his hands as they clenched into fists at his sides. Trying to control her racing heart, Rey frantically looked over Poe’s shoulder, hoping Ben was nowhere in sight.

“W-What are you doing here?” Rey managed to stammer out, hiding herself behind the door. She knew she was being ridiculous. Poe had already seen her state of undress, and she didn’t think she could keep him from coming inside, but at the moment she was in self-preservation mode. She tugged at the hem of the sweater nervously. 

“What am I doing here? What do you  _ think  _ I’m doing here? I came to bring you home. You see, I’m the idiot who listened to your father.” She could see the color creeping up his neck and flaring hotly over his cheeks as he continued. “I’m the asshole who thought you just needed some  _ time _ ,” Rey could almost see the quotes around the word he snarled at her, pushing past her into the room. She shut the door behind her and locked it, being careful to quietly latch the security lock, effectively keeping Ben out in case he should return while Poe was on his rampage. “Give her  _ time _ , Poe,” he continued in a high pitched, mocking tone, “she’s probably just scared, just wants to shop for wedding things, she’s with a  _ friend _ .” He turned on her then, his eyes dark, and Rey took a step back. For the first time, she was afraid of what he might do.

“Who’s the  _ friend _ , Rey? How long has it been going on?”

“Poe, it’s not like that. I…”

“Is this why you haven’t ever wanted me to touch you? Why you’ve been like some frigid nun for our entire relationship? Have you been fucking this  _ friend _ the entire time like some god damn whore?” 

The slap resounded in the quiet room. Rey felt the satisfying sting of it shoot all the way up her arm and she gasped when Poe grabbed her wrist and held tight.

“No,” he seethed. “You don’t get to do that. You were the one who ran off without a word. You were the one who ignored everyone so you could get laid in some cheap hotel room. Now answer me. Who is it? Where is he?”

“I don’t have to tell you anything. Who do you think you are?” Rey pulled her hand out of his grasp, rubbing the spot where Poe had held her. She was furious with him, but also with herself. At her own stupidity and cowardice. She had caused all this. She had made this mess. She had to end this as quickly as possible and get Poe out of there before Ben came back. She glared at Poe as he carried on ranting. 

“I am the one who is going to take you back to your father,” he told her. “And I’m the one who is going to marry you, because you’re not going to fuck this up for me. Now get your shit and let’s go.”

“What are you talking about? I’m not marrying you,” Rey let out a humorless laugh before she could stop herself. “I don’t want to be with you anymore. I am sorry. I should have been honest and told you before, but…”

“Save it, Rey,” Poe interrupted. “I don’t want to hear it. The engagement party is set for two weeks from today. You’ll be there,” he stepped closer to her and Rey took an involuntary step back, “and you’ll smile and you’ll agree to everything and we will be married and I’ll get what I want.”

“What you want?” Rey tried to stay calm. She didn’t want to show Poe that she was afraid. He was confusing her with his behavior and his comments. Engagement party? They weren’t even engaged. What was happening? “What is that supposed to mean?” she snapped, “What engagement party?”

Ignoring her questions, Poe continued on his tirade. “I have worked too hard and put up with your shit for too long to have you ruin everything. I will be the president of the company and I will have what I have earned. You’ll keep it in your pants and be the smiling happy wife. Got it? Your dad is only too happy to be planning our party as we speak. He’s got your mom and dear old grandpa on their way from London. You’ll do what I say or I’ll let everyone know what you did and what a tramp you actually are. Your whole family will know just what kind of person dear sweet Rey is. And I’ll find out who the guy is, and I’ll ruin him. I’ll make him wish he’d never met you.”

Rey was frozen in shock. She couldn’t believe what he was saying to her. Couldn’t reconcile the man who indulged her to a fault, who attempted to propose with champagne and a Tiffany diamond, to this cruel, manipulative person in front of her. She felt her knees buckle and she sank to the floor, hot tears welling up and spilling over onto her cheeks. She knew Poe could be difficult, he had a mean streak at work and she had seen him treat employees of the bank less than kindly, but she’d never witnessed this level of cruelty. She could feel her head pounding and heart racing with panic. She couldn’t let him find Ben. Poe had connections all over the state in all areas of finance and government. Rey knew he could make it so Ben was blocked every step of the way in anything he wanted to do from buying a car to getting a job. She looked up at Poe with eyes blazing. 

“I hate you,” she said.

“Fine with me, sweetheart,” he shot back. “You don’t have to like it. Just do what I say and boyfriend is left alone. Now, get dressed and let’s get out of here before he gets back and I have to deal with him myself.”

Rey was shaking with rage and fear. If she hadn’t brought Ben into this she’d leave now and damn Poe and his threats. But she’d gone and fallen for him like an idiot, and put him in this position that could damage his future because she was too foolish to see what had been staring her in the face for four years. Poe didn’t care about anything else but money. He sure as hell didn’t care about her. And now she had to hurt the person that she was pretty sure  _ did _ care. She felt sick to her stomach. She stood and made her way to the bed where her bags were and pulled out a pair of jeans and threw the rest of her things quickly into the bag.

Turning her back to Poe, Rey quietly swiped the notepad and pen from where they lay on the bedside table, tucking them into the folds of the jeans. 

“I’ll be right back,” she mumbled dejectedly and made her way to the bathroom. 

“Hurry up,” Poe snapped back at her. 

Once inside, Rey closed and locked the bathroom door. She knew she only had a few minutes. The longer she took, the higher the odds were of Ben returning and finding Poe. She only hoped she could leave the note for Ben without Poe seeing. She tugged on her jeans and shoes, sat on the side of the tub, and began to write. 

_ Ben, _

_ I am so sorry. This has to be fast. Poe found me and I have to leave. I don’t want to. I don’t want to at all. I’ve made such a mess of everything. Please call me. I need to explain. I don’t want to leave it like this. You have been so wonderful. I’m so sorry. I hope to see you soon. Be safe.  _

_ Yours, _

_ Rey xo _

She folded the note and palmed it so it wasn’t visible. Opening the door she saw that Poe was holding her phone. 

“What are you doing? Give me that!” She dropped her bag and moved quickly towards him, grabbing her phone out of his hand. She looked down and remembered too late that Poe knew the password to her phone. She gasped when she saw that he had deleted everything. Her entire text history, the photos of her and Ben from that afternoon, her contacts. He had effectively erased Ben and any trace of him out of her life. 

“What have you done?” She sobbed. 

“Give it a rest. I don’t need any more of your fucking drama. Let’s go.”

Tears streaming down her face, Rey quietly picked up her bags and made her way toward the door, stopping in front of Ben’s duffle to slip the note inside without Poe seeing. He opened the door and she exited first, keeping her eyes straight, refusing to look at him. What she failed to notice, as she walked out the door, was the money Poe had left by the television with a note that read -

_ Thanks for the ride _

_ R. _

* * *

“Sorry it took so long. They were really busy for some reason. I got you some dessert, too. No blueberries on the menu, but I figured we could share some chocolate cake. Chocolate always works, right?” When Rey didn’t answer, Ben spoke a little louder, assuming she was in the bathroom taking a shower. When he didn’t hear a response, or any running water, he felt a nervous knot begin to form in his stomach. “Rey?” Ben walked towards the open bathroom door and was confused when he realized there was no sign of her anywhere. He slowly turned around and scanned the room, noticing the absence of her. No bags, no clothes strewn across the floor, no phone, purse, shoes, or anything that would hint of any presence beside his own. The hair on the back of his neck stood up as he walked over to set the bag of food on the desk where the television rested. What he saw there filled him with shame, anger, and embarrassment. The bag of food fell to the floor as he reached out to crumple the perfunctory note along with the three hundred dollar bills Rey had left behind.


	13. Crying in a Getaway Car

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben are comforted by their best friends, and Ben just can't catch a break.

Rey had a new definition for the word torture. Four hours alone with Poe Dameron, driving the same highway she had with Ben. Holding what little control she had, silent tears running down her cheeks instead of hearing him laugh at the things she said and did. Breathing the recirculated air conditioning instead of feeling the wind through her hair with the top down. Every landmark, every place they had stopped along the way, even the sight of the ocean through the car window was a stab in the heart. Rey could only hope that Ben would find her note soon and call her. Since Poe had meddled with her phone she had no way of contacting Ben herself. She had fiddled with the damn thing for nearly an hour, searching deleted files, even searching her cloud storage for anything related to Ben. It baffled her that in the short time she had been in the bathroom, Poe had been able to destroy everything. 

Sighing, Rey let the phone drop to her lap and rummaged around in her bag for her earbuds. She plugged them into the phone and began to fit them one at a time into her ears when Poe began to speak. 

“We need to discuss how you are going to behave when I take you home," he said.

Rey turned slowly to gape at him, not speaking, just waiting for him to look over at her. When he did, she stared straight into his eyes, placed the other earbud in her ear, turned her music up, and dropped her phone back into her lap, ignoring Poe’s grumbling and white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the headrest, praying for time to go quicker so she could be home to fall apart in private.

Less than a minute later a vibration in her lap caught her attention. Her heart picked up its pace as she unlocked the phone using the new password she had input. She was afraid to hope it was a text from Ben, but couldn’t deny that she did. What she saw instead was a text from Kaydel. 

_ Kay: Rey what’s up? Is everything ok? I just saw your text. I’m just really confused right now. You seemed so happy. Did he do something? Do I need to kill someone? 🔪 _

_ Rey: It’s not Ben. Can you guys meet me at my place in about an hour?  _

_ Rose: Sorry! I’m here. I had my phone turned off. Armie and I were at a movie. What’s happening??  _

_ Rey: Just meet me at home. I’ll tell you guys everything. I can’t talk right now. Poe… 👂🏻 👀  _

_ Rose: oh fuck _

_ Kay: 🔪🔪🔪 _

_ Rose: We’ll be there. 🍦? 🍷? _

_ Rey: All of the above. I love you guys  _

_ Kay: See you soon! _

When Poe arrived at her apartment an hour later, Rey hopped out of the car before it came to a full stop, quickly grabbing her bags and slamming the doors before he could get out of his seat. She was never more relieved to see Rose and Kaydel waiting in front of her door. She moved quickly to avoid having to talk to Poe again. Unfortunately, he had a different idea.

“Rey, don’t you think we should eventually talk about this?” He said, glaring daggers at Rose and Kay as they shielded Rey who was busy trying to unlock her door with shaking hands. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Kay shouted. “Get the hell out of here. You see, Rose is nice, but I don’t have a problem stabbing you with the nearest pointy object.” 

“Jesus Christ you’re all fucking crazy. I’ll see you tomorrow, Rey. Dinner with your father. Don’t be late.” 

“Ok you can fuck right off now,” Kay shouted as Rose helped Rey unlock her door. Rey was close to breaking and Rose was not about to let her best friend fall to pieces in front of this jerk.

“Charming as always, Kaydel. Rose,” Poe got into his car as Rose and Kay, as if synchronized, raised their hands and gave him a rude gesture to send him on his way.

Finally getting the door opened, the trio made their way inside and Rose took the wine and ice cream she had brought into the kitchen, while Kaydel took Rey’s bags from her, setting them down and guiding her to the soft sofa. Rey grabbed a throw pillow and buried her face in it, stifling a scream. Lifting her face to look at Kay, she couldn’t contain it anymore and burst into tears. 

“Rey! Oh sweetie!” Rose came running back into the living room, planting herself on the other side of the couch. She and Kaydel wrapped themselves around Rey, letting her cry it out in a cocoon of love and friendship. 

After what felt like forever, Rey finally lifted her face, her eyes red and swollen, and proceeded to tell them the entire story. 

“That son of a bitch,” Kaydel said. “I am gonna beat his ass.”

“It’s not all Poe, Kay,” Rey said quietly. “I started this whole thing by not being honest.” She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and sat up straight, taking a deep breath and getting herself together. “And now I’m stuck. I just hope Ben calls soon so I can explain it all to him. I have to figure out a way to get rid of Poe and apologize to Ben. I just don’t know how.”

“We’ll figure it out, sis,” Rose offered. “In the meantime, let’s get some wine sundaes to perk us up.” She moved back to the kitchen and as Rey watched her go, Kay took her hand and gave it a squeeze.

“It will all work out, Rey. We’ll make it work.”

Smiling, Rey squeezed back. She appreciated her friends’ support. She only wished she was as confident as they were.

* * *

“Ben! It’s been forever, man! It’s so good to see you!” Tai Bridger enthusiastically greeted Ben as he walked into the former’s office the following Monday morning. Ben had spent the weekend alternating between hurt, confusion, anger, and work, finishing up his assignment with less interest than before since everything reminded him of  _ her _ . The beaches, the smell of the sea air, the way her body felt against his as they spent the day relaxing and playing in the waves, and then after…

He shook off the thoughts of her and returned Tai's greeting with a hug and a smile he hoped looked genuine. He sat down in the chair offered and politely declined any food or drink from the assistant who popped in cheerily to see if they needed anything. In truth he was tired and just wanted to go home and forget the last week had ever happened. Unfortunately, he was never able to hide anything from Tai. 

“Ben...man, you ok? You look...I don’t know, depressed. What’s wrong? Your parents alright? Jannah? Lando?” An edge of concern slipped in his voice as he questioned Ben about his family. 

“Everyone is ok at home. They’re all good. It’s nothing. How’s your dad?”

“Nope. We’re not doing that, Solo. This isn’t about that right now. No dodging. Something’s up. What is it?”

Sighing, Ben leaned back in his chair. It was useless trying to sidestep Tai’s questions. He’d nag him like a pestering mother until Ben gave in anyway. He figured the beginning was the best place to start, so he told him everything starting with his drunk carjacking and ending with finding cash on the desktop and an empty room. 

“Shit, man. She left money on the table? That’s some...I don’t know...that’s like out of a bad movie. Did she leave a note or anything?”

“Yeah,” Ben laughed bitterly. “It said thanks for the ride.”

Tai let out a low whistle. “I’m sorry, Ben, but that’s some bullshit. That seems really low. Damn. Those rich girls always think they can just make their problems go away with money. It’s like Bazine all over again.”

Ben flinched at the comparison. Rey hadn’t been anything like Bazine. Not really. He couldn’t reconcile the Rey who would leave payment for services rendered to the one he was getting to know. But he hadn’t known her. Not really. He deserved what he got for being the trusting fool he was. He told Tai as much. 

“Nobody deserves to be treated like that, Ben. You’re better than that. You can’t keep saying things like that to yourself. You know it’s not true and doesn’t solve anything.” 

Ben sighed, running his hand through his hair. Tai had always been the voice of reason—ever since they were kids. 

“Thanks, man. I needed that. I guess I just feel...I don’t know, used. Anyway, I’m not here to cry on your damn shoulder. Here’s the drive with the photos on it.” He handed over a USB drive that he had put all of his raw and edited footage on, in the hopes that something would stand out and he could sell one or two of the photos.

Awesome. I’ll have it sent on up to the head of the editing department to see if there’s anything they can use. In the meantime, why don’t we go have an early dinner tonight and instead of crying on my shoulder we cry in a few beers? Around 5 sound good?”

“That sounds great, man. I’ll text you later.” Standing up, Ben held out his hand to shake. Tai laughed and instead brought him in for a hug, patting Ben on the back and saying, “It’s good to see you, brother.”

Smiling his first real smile in days, Ben clapped Tai on the shoulder before turning and leaving the office to head back to his hotel room and have a rest before dinner. 

* * *

Ben had been waiting at the bar for about ten minutes sipping on a beer and lost in thought when he felt a hand clap down on his shoulder, making him jump in surprise.

“Calm down, Solo! What’s got you so jumpy?” Tai laughed and sat in the empty stool next to Ben, getting the bartender’s attention and ordering his drink. “So,” he said, turning to Ben with a sly grin on his expressive face. His jet black eyes and hard stare could be intimidating at times. The man regularly practiced kickboxing, was voluntarily bald with a scruffy goatee, and he looked like he’d beat the shit out of you in a back alley. But when he looked at Ben like he was now, it was like they were kids all over again, and Tai had a hairbrained idea that Ben knew would get them all in trouble. 

“So...what?” Ben replied nervously. Tai was up to something, or had a secret, or both, and Ben was bracing himself for the worst.

“I have good news, and, possibly bad news,” Tai said.

“Fucking out with it, man, I’m tired,” Ben snapped, causing Tai to throw his head back with laughter. “Laughing? You’re laughing. What the hell, man? What’s going on? Give me the good news then. Jesus.”

“Ok, ok. Here it is. They want to use your work.” Tai smiled expectantly, and was rewarded when Ben relaxed and a grin split his face.

“No kidding? That’s great! Which one?” Ben waited for Tai to tell him which picture they were going to use for the piece. Maybe it would be more than one. This would definitely get him started with a portfolio. Maybe it would lead to more jobs. Ben looked at Tai and was confused when he just sat there, looking as if he were the proverbial cat who ate the canary. Ben’s smile vanished as quickly as it appeared. “What?” he asked. “What’s the bad news?”

Tai pulled out a large manilla envelope he had been carrying in his bag. He placed it on the bar in front of Ben with a snort. 

“Well,” he chuckled, “the bad news is  _ which _ pictures they want to use.”

Ben could feel his mouth go dry and the hair stand up on the back of his neck as realization began to dawn on him. He hadn’t erased some of the photos he had taken on the beach...with her. He slid the photos out along with legal release forms for Rey to sign allowing the magazine to print her image in the next issue.

“Fuck.”

* * *

Two weeks later, Ben still hadn’t decided what to do about the pictures for the magazine issue. He had asked Tai to plead his case with the photo editors to no avail. They were determined to use the photos of Rey, and they had a deadline to stick to. So here he was, sitting in his kitchen, having lunch and staring at the offending contract and photos, trying to explain to his cousin Jannah why he wasn’t jumping at the chance. 

“I don’t get it, Ben. This is your career we’re talking about. Just send them to her and get it over with. Why are you making such a big deal about it?” Jannah Calrissian sat across from Ben, polishing her fingernails a deep red, her glossy braids cascading over her shoulders and brushing the tabletop. Tossing them back, she looked up at Ben, an eyebrow raised in question. “You were going to tell me at some point what the big deal is and why you’ve been an absolute ass for almost two weeks now, right?”

“I haven’t been an ass,” he huffed back at her.

“Oh, ok. So you didn’t snap at your mom at dinner on Sunday when she asked if you were seeing anyone new?”

“It’s none of her business. Be careful with that stuff on my table, please,” he said, pointing to her nail polish.

“I am being careful. Quit being a dick and tell me what the hell is going on. Who is this girl and what is she to you?” She pointed her long fingernail at the shot of Rey, laying back on her forearms, her face to the sky, eyes closed and basking in the sun with the waves and the perfect blue sky in the background. 

“She’s nobody. She’s not who I thought she was and she doesn’t want to see me again, so I’m not going to bother with it. There will be other jobs.”

“Are you serious? You’re gonna let this little girl control your future because she dumped you? If she’s nobody, then it shouldn’t matter, should it? You’re a fool, cuz. She ain’t even that cute. What’s her name, anyway?”

Ben stared at Jannah. He could feel his ears getting hot and he had to take a deep breath to control his temper. “Her name is Rey. Rey Johnson. And she’s beautiful, so knock it off. I just...I can’t, Jannah.” His voice was so low he was almost whispering. “It hurts too much to even consider seeing her again. She hurt me.”

Jannah’s face softened and she put down her nail polish. She moved in to put her arms around Ben. “I’m sorry, cuz,” she said. “I really am. Are you that sure she doesn’t want to talk to you? Have you tried talking to her?”

“I don’t have her number, and she hasn’t tried to contact me. And…” Ben groaned and put his face in his hands, “I’m pretty sure I was just a pre-wedding jitter.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Look,” he pushed a newspaper in front of Jannah, the society page showing an article about a well known owner of a chain of banks marrying his daughter off to his vice-president.

“Oh shit,” Jannah whispered. 

“Yeah,” he said. “So, her engagement party is this weekend. It’s not like I can just waltz in and demand her to sign a contract anyway.” Ben looked defeated. 

“I’m so sorry,” Jannah said again. She sat back down in her chair, and looked again at the picture in the newspaper. It almost didn’t even look like the same woman. The relaxed woman on the beach seemed peaceful and content with a small smile playing upon her face. The woman in the engagement announcement looked, well, she looked the same way Ben looked right now. Defeated. Something was off about this situation. 

“Yeah, me too. Let’s change the subject, ok?” Ben said. The ache in his chest every time he mentioned Rey would never stop until he just stopped talking about her. “What are you doing this weekend?”

“Nothing much,” she said, “probably just going out with some girls from work.” She went back to calmly polishing her nails as Ben cleaned up their lunch. Inside, though, she was scheming. It was what the Calrissians did best. She made a mental note to look through her closet to see what she had in the way of formal wear. She had an engagement party to attend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear what you think! Please leave a comment and come say hi on twitter! @lil_red_hed
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! xoxo


	14. The Ties Were Black, The Lies Were White

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I've had this chapter sitting unfinished in my docs for so long. Sorry to take forever! Hope you like the direction this is taking us. Cheers!

_ I’m not going to be able to eat anything in that thing _ , Rey thought to herself as she stared at the dress hanging on the back of her bathroom door. Her mother had brought it all the way from London, telling her, “You won’t have to worry about a thing.” She’d purchased the dress before Rey could say anything for or against the idea. 

In truth, she didn’t really care. It was nice enough, a cream-colored, sleeveless, floral sheath that came to just above her knee and flattered her figure. But, it was a little snug, and there was a spot right in the middle of her back that itched whenever she put it on. Rey saw it as her punishment—her hair shirt to wear in penance for her escapades. At least it had pockets. 

Rey sighed as she sat at her dressing table and picked up her phone for what seemed like the hundredth time already that day. She had rarely been without it for weeks, constantly checking for messages or missed calls. Anything that may have meant Ben cared about her even a little. She knew she was fooling herself. Why she ever thought he’d want anything to do with her after the way she’d left was ridiculous. It didn’t stop the pain from taking over when everything else was quiet. Hurt was her loudest and most constant companion these days. She knew she needed to let him go, but hope was a bitch. 

Standing, Rey tossed her phone on her bed and took the dress off the hanger, slipping into it just as she heard a knock on her door.

“Rey?” Rose poked her head into the room and smiled when she spotted Rey. “Hey. Do you need any help?”

“Yeah, zip me up will you?” 

Rose was a picture of loveliness in a baby blue wrap dress that flattered her curvy figure. Her raven black hair cascaded over her shoulders in waves and Rey felt a twinge of jealousy at the relaxed happiness she saw in Rose’s face. Swallowing her sour thoughts, she beamed brightly at Rose. 

“You look beautiful, Rosie.”

“So do you, sweetie,” Rose finished zipping her up and watched as Rey slid into her nude heels, completing her look. She looked up and saw the sadness on Rey’s face before she could throw her mask back up again. 

“Rey, you know you don’t have to do this. Nobody is forcing you to marry him.” Rose sat on the edge of Rey’s bed as she finished up the final touches on her hair and makeup. 

“What choice do I have, Rose?” Rey sighed. She’d been over it in her head a thousand times already. She needed to make sure Ben was safe from Poe’s wrath, even if Ben didn’t want anything to do with her. She owed him that much. She told Rose all of this and finished with a shrug. “I have no other options. I’ve never really been encouraged to be more than what I am anyway.”

“And just what is that?” asked Rose quietly. 

“An ornament,” Rey responded flatly. Before Rose could argue Rey stood and smoothed her dress. “So let’s get this over with.”

Rose sighed, her gentle expression was almost Rey’s undoing.

“Rose don’t look at me like that. If you look at me like that I’ll cry and I can’t cry anymore. Not tonight. Please, Rosie.”

“Ok, honey. Kay is downstairs with Armie. Everyone’s ready. We’re here for you Rey. No matter what. We love you. And you need to know that you are so much more than an ornament. You are brilliant, and funny, and a fucking catch. So knock that off.” Rose pulled Rey in for a hug and pressed their cheeks together in a makeshift kiss, careful not to smudge any makeup. 

“Thank you,” Rey whispered. She and Rose looked at each other for a moment. Rey knew then, that if she wanted to run, Rose would help her. No questions asked. Rey could do it. She could leave right now and...

Just then they heard a loud honk come from the car downstairs, pulling Rey out of her desperate musings with a jolt. It felt like the last nail in her coffin. Resigned, she pushed everything else down, grabbed her bag and followed Rose downstairs and into the waiting car. 

* * *

The hotel ballroom was tastefully decorated in shades of cream, peach, and gold. Bouquets of fresh flowers were resting on tables surrounding a dance floor, and a small stage was set up on one side complete with a live band playing covers of old standards. Rey had allowed her mother to take control of the whole fiasco, not wanting to have the slightest involvement in anything Poe related. 

“Oh boy,” Kaydel said as they walked through the doors and scanned the crowd of middle aged couples dancing to the subdued tunes. “This is a geriatric nightmare. Are we the youngest people here? Jesus. Rey, I’ll be at the bar.”

Rey rolled her eyes as she watched Kaydel walk away, her blond curls swaying and her sequined black dress drawing attention from more than a few husbands in the room. Rey laughed and turned to Rose, holding hands with her boyfriend, Armitage Hux. He looked bored. Rey asked him if he wouldn’t mind getting them a drink and turned to Rose when he was out of earshot. 

“Do you see him?”

“Yeah, he's by the stage. Shit! I made eye contact. He’s on his way over here.” 

“I need you Rosie. Don’t leave me!”

“Nope. Never,” Rose said, squeezing Rey’s arm and giving her a wink. 

“Rose, Rey,” Poe sidled up next to Rey sliding his arm around her waist. She tensed and pulled away. 

“Don’t touch me,” Rey hissed. 

Poe flashed a toothy grin and spoke with gritted teeth, “Rose would you excuse us?”

“No.”

Glaring back at Rose, he leaned in towards Rey and whispered, “Play nice or else, Rey.”

Rey posted on a happy smile. With an apologetic glance at Rose, Rey allowed Poe to steer her away and around the ballroom, showing her off like a prize pig at a county fair. 

After a few introductions, Rey was irritable and already exhausted with all the attention. It became a blur of how do you do, congratulations, and thank you until they finally landed on someone Rey recognized. Snap Wexley and his wife Zorii Bliss. Zorii was a gorgeous model who met and married Snap, the owner of the agency where Zorii was a client. Rey had always been suspicious of that relationship. Zorii didn’t seem like the type to settle down. 

Zorii leaned in and gave Ray an air kiss. “Rey, sweetheart, you look fabulous. Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” Her cheeks were beginning to hurt from all the fake smiling she had been doing. This night couldn’t be over soon enough. Ignoring the conversation the other three were having about their financial profiles, Rey turned and caught sight of someone she didn’t recognize. The woman—tall and imposing, with skin a lovely rich, tawny brown, and braids piled high in an up-do on her head—caught sight of Rey and began moving purposely in her direction. Rey’s curiosity was piqued. Seeing Rose and Kay otherwise busy, she took the woman’s arrival as a way out of Poe boring her to death about 401ks and financial planning. 

“Excuse me,” Rey said, and turned towards the woman walking closer to her. 

“Are you Rey Johnson?” the woman asked, taking Rey by surprise.

“I...am. Have we met? Are you a friend of Poe’s?”

“I’m Jannah. Jannah Calrissian. I’m…”

“Ben’s cousin Jannah?” Rey asked quietly. She could feel her arms break out in goosebumps and her palms start to sweat. Her heart began to race as she scanned the room, frantically looking for any sign of him. Was he here? To stop her? To yell at her? To...what? Say goodbye? She turned and looked back at Jannah. “What’s going on? Is...is  _ he _ here?” She hated the desperation in her voice as it broke. Even after two weeks of waiting and crying herself to sleep, she hated that she still hoped he’d swoop in and forgive her. 

Jannah looked at Rey curiously.  _ Interesting reaction _ Jannah thought. 

“No,” she said. “He’s not here. I’m here to bring you something.” She pulled a white envelope out of her bag and handed it to Rey. With a questioning look, Rey took out the papers and unfolded them. 

“What is this?” she asked. 

“It’s a contract. You see, the magazine Ben was doing the assignment for wants to print his photos. But they want the ones of you. They need you to sign the release forms.” 

“And Ben sent you?” The crushing disappointment Rey felt at that moment overwhelmed her and she bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying on the spot. 

“No. He doesn’t know I’m here.”

“I don’t understand. If he needed me to sign these, why didn’t he just come?”

Glancing around the room, taking in the decorations, servers with trays of champagne, and black tie dress, Jannah looked back at Rey, trying hard, yet unsuccessfully, to mask her amusement. She gently took Rey’s left hand and held her ring up to catch the light. “Is that a question you really think you need to ask?”

Rey could feel her face heat and answered Jannah with a small shake of her head, looking down at the floor so she couldn’t see Rey's eyes filling with tears. 

“Look, he’s my family. And I’m not the type of person to stand by and watch her family get hurt and not do anything about it. For some reason he seems to care about you, even if he won’t admit it. Enough to avoid you and your fiancé and let it put the brakes on his career. But I’m guessing that you care about him too.” Rey's head snapped up and a renegade tear slid down her cheek. Jannah’s tone softened. “So the ball is in your court. You do what you think is right.” She turned to leave, but stopped to look back at Rey. 

“I almost forgot. Congratulations on your engagement.”

Rey winced as she watched Jannah walk away. 

* * *

It hadn’t been all that difficult to slip away from the crowd. Rey stood just outside the doors of the ballroom, far enough away to not be seen, but close enough to hear if anyone were looking for her. She breathed in the cool night air and twirled the engagement ring on her finger. Jannah had been right. If Ben somehow thought Rey wanted to go through with this, why would he try and contact her? Still, it didn’t make sense that he would have completely ghosted her. Especially after what Jannah had said. Did he really care? Enough to not want to interfere? It made her stomach hurt and though tears threatened yet again to fall, Rey would not give Poe the satisfaction of seeing her eyes red from crying. She unlocked her phone and went to the one picture she had of Ben. It was the selfie they had taken on the beach the last morning. Kaydel had texted it to her after realizing she still had a copy of it. Rey had taken to looking at it when she needed to calm down. Looking at his face, his dimples, the sparkle in his eyes, the unguarded open mouthed grin, made her heart ache for him. She knew she had to do something...only she didn’t know what it could be.

When Rey put her phone back into her bag and walked back into the ballroom, she encountered her father headed straight for her. She attempted to shake off the gloom and beamed at him. 

“Hi, Dad. What’s up?”

“Rey, honey, have you seen Poe? Nobody knows where he went and he’s been gone for about 15 minutes. I thought you two might have been together, but I guess not.” Rian looked behind Rey into the dark to confirm his suspicions.

“No, I haven’t,” she said. "I’ll go and look for him."

“Ok, honey, thanks.”

Rey moved quickly through the ballroom and out into the hallway. She had no idea which way to look for Poe, but figured just the offer to look was a reprieve from having to act like she enjoyed the attention from practically every senior citizen trust-funder her father knew. She wandered down a quiet corridor where there were four sets of double doors, each one leading to a different meeting room with names of some of California’s more historical figures. She checked the first three: The Steinbeck, The Hearst, and The Saroyan, finding them all to be empty. The last one at the end of the hallway, however, The Fremont, was locked when Rey attempted to open it. She leaned in and pressed her ear to the door, and what she heard had her seeing red. 

* * *

“May I have your attention, please?” Another 15 minutes later, Poe was on stage, tapping the microphone the lead singer of the band had handed to him. He flashed a sparkling smile out at the party guests while Rey reluctantly stood next to him, holding his hand, the papers Jannah gave her folded tightly and shoved into her dainty handbag.

“First of all I’d like to thank all of our family and friends for coming tonight to celebrate our upcoming special day. Chances are we'll see you all again very soon. Rey gets a little impatient, and we’ll have to get married quick before she changes her mind. Right, Rey?” He shot her a look that conveyed sweet teasing to the party-goers, but Rey could see the condescension in his eyes, coupled with a warning that she read loud and clear. She gazed out into the crowd and her mind wandered back to her conversation with Jannah.

_ For some reason he seems to care about you. _

Then why hadn’t he called her? And what about the other thing? About him not wanting to admit it? Rey didn’t understand. Something must have happened along the way to mix them all up. She looked out at the sea of tuxedos and jewels and found Rose, her eyebrows raised in question as if to say, “Are you ok?”

_ Am I ok? _ Rey thought to herself.  _ What the hell am I doing here? _ She looked over at Poe, at her father, and down at the ridiculous ring on her hand. What she had just overheard, the contract in her bag, her conversation with Jannah, and her own disappointment crashed over her in an instant and Rey came to a sudden conclusion. None of this mattered. Not to her. It was time to start standing up for herself, and now was just as good a time as ever. Without another thought, she made a grab for the microphone in Poe’s hand. 

“Hey, Rey, I do believe I have the floor honey,” he cooed in a saccharine tone. The audience laughed politely as he finished up his speech, once again congratulating himself and thanking their family and friends. With a thinly veiled look of disdain, he thrust the microphone into Rey’s hand, and clinked his champagne flute to hers, making sure he was just loud enough to be heard through the speakers as he said, “Don’t drink too much, Rey. Wouldn’t want you running off again.”

Rey forced a tight smile as she dragged in a deep breath. She let it out slowly and pasted a smile on her face as she turned to address everyone. “Funny,” she said into the microphone. “Isn’t he so funny, everyone?" She waited for the good natured laughter to die down before continuing. "I want to start by thanking my father for putting this together so quickly. Thank you dad for your support. Thank you to my mum, Amilyn, for flying all the way from London and bringing my grandpa with her. I love you both.” She gave her mother and father hugs, and accepted a kiss on the cheek from her grandfather. She gave them one last apologetic look before turning back to everyone else. “And I also want to extend an apology to everyone here for taking time out of their busy schedules to attend this ridiculous farce of an engagement party. You see, I am not now, nor am I ever, in any way going to marry Poe Dameron.”

The gasps and rumblings started low at first. They grew louder as the attendees watched Poe attempt to grab the microphone away from Rey. 

“I do believe I have the floor,  _ honey _ ,” she snapped at him, taking her hand away from his reach and moving away from him.

“The truth is, I never wanted to marry Poe. In fact, two weeks ago I left right in the middle of his engagement without a word to anyone. I couldn't stomach the idea of being attached to this man for the greater part of my adult life. Did I act appropriately? No. Did I leave town with another man? Yep.”

A bubble of laughter that bordered on hysteria came out of her just then. She took in the collective shock in the crowd, her mother’s horrified expression, her father’s confusion. She scanned the crowd and caught the eye of her best friends - Rose, Kay, and Armie. Rose gave her a gentle nod, and Kaydel had an insane smile on her face, her eyes wide with glee as if this were the best thing she had ever seen without having to buy a ticket. Armie, bless him, just looked confused. Rey took a calming breath, gaining control in their support. 

“Then Poe found me. He actually bullied an employee to use my credit card activity to locate me. Isn’t he clever?" Rey saw her father’s face turn beet red as he looked at Poe. Poe just looked like he might be sick. “Oh, he also threatened to tell my whole family what a, I believe the word was tramp, right Poe? What a tramp I am. And so I came home and agreed to this because I was afraid. I was afraid of him and of my reputation and what all of you would think.” Rey swept her champagne glass in a wide arc, encompassing the whole room. 

“But I had a moment of clarity tonight. And I realized that I really don’t give a shit what any of you think.”

The gasps from the older, more conservative pearl clutchers couldn’t cover the sound of Kaydel's cackle and shout, “That’s my baby girl!”

“The only one whose opinion I really care about is miles away thinking I am a horrible person. And so I’m going to leave, and see if I can fix this mess that I’ve made. So thanks for coming, have a drink, and I hope you all saved your gift receipts.” She made to leave the stage, pushing past a very agitated Poe before she stopped again and turned to the crowd 

“Oh, before I forget. Snap? Where are you Snap?”

Snap Wexley slowly raised his hand at Rey, catching her attention. 

“There you are! Yeah you should probably know that I overheard Poe and Zorii screwing in one of the meeting rooms tonight. Cheers!” She raised her glass, downed its contents, tossed the ring into it and handed the empty flute and the microphone off to the first person she saw. She then proceeded to make her way out of the venue, watching the crowd part like the Red Sea.


	15. I Didn’t Mean It, and You Didn’t See It

_ “In two miles, take exit 134B and keep right at the fork…” _

The robotic voice of the GPS on Rey’s phone brought her out of her reverie and she glanced in her mirrors in preparation for the lane change. She had spent the entire drive from San Francisco to Sacramento imagining different scenarios with Ben. Some had ended with them tangled up in his sheets for the rest of the weekend, others with him laughing in her face and demanding she get off his property. She tried not to dwell on the less positive possible outcomes. The drive hadn’t taken as long as she’d guessed and now she was almost to Ben’s father’s business, his address the only “Solo” she could locate online, and she still had no idea what she was going to say or how to even approach the subject. She only hoped he would be understanding enough to help her find Ben. 

She pulled into the parking lot of “Flying Solo,” the flight school owned and operated by Han Solo, and set the parking brake. Staring at the building she tried to work up the courage to get out of the car and face the music. She closed her eyes and tried, once again, to go over what she would say to Ben’s dad. How would she introduce herself? 

_ Oh hi, I’m the trollop who screwed your son and then left him high and dry after telling him I’d stay. By the way, I was engaged until last night. _

That would be a super opener. 

She wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting in the car when she was startled by a rapping on her window. Her eyes flew open and she snapped her head to the left to see a middle aged man tapping his knuckles on her window. Shock turned to irritation turned to recognition when she saw the same strong features, shaggy hair and sardonic grin. Han Solo. Ben’s father. Rey took a deep breath and blew it out. 

_ Here goes nothing, _ she thought. Unlocking the car door, she stepped out into the oppressive heat of the state’s capitol. Immediately sweat began to bead on her neck and back, whether because of nerves or the climate, she wasn’t sure. 

“Are you having car trouble? Do you need a hand?” he asked.

“I’m actually here to speak to Han Solo,” she replied. 

“That’s me,” Han said with a smile. “Come on inside out of the heat.” He led her into the front entrance and into an office off the front lobby. “Please, have a seat,” he gestured to a pair of chairs in front of a desk. “Can I offer you some water?”

“No, thank you,” Rey began to fidget with her sunglasses in her hand, not quite meeting Han’s eyes as she gathered the courage to speak up. 

“What can I do for you today? Are you interested in our next class session? We don't have group classes beginning until September, but I can offer you private lessons if that’s the way you want to go. The fee does go up a bit, considering.” He began leafing through files to pull out pamphlets and paperwork. 

Rey cleared her throat. “Mr. Solo?” she asked, waiting until she had his attention to continue. “My name is Rey. Rey Johnson. I’m a...friend of Ben’s.” 

Han’s eyes widened as Rey finished her introduction and he glanced towards the door of his office and back to Rey. 

“You should probably keep your voice down,” he said.

“What? Why?” she asked. But before Rey could finish her question, she was interrupted by a very loud, very angry woman barreling into the office behind her. 

“You!” she shouted, pointing her finger at Rey. “What are you doing here?”

“I...I’m looking for Ben…” Rey trailed off, sounding foolish, and weak. 

“And what makes you think I or his father would want to have anything to do with helping you find him? Don’t you think you’ve done enough? Do you think we want to have a part in you hurting him again? He’s been a wreck for weeks because of you! Who do you think you are?” 

“Leia, that’s enough!” Han raised his voice, getting Leia’s attention. “It’s Ben’s business, not ours.”

“Mrs. Solo, I never wanted to hurt Ben. It was all a misunderstanding. I just need to talk to him. I need to apologize. I don’t want to do anything to make him unhappy. Please believe that.” Rey’s resolve was close to caving in on itself and she was a hair's breadth away from bursting into tears yet again. Totally on brand for her, it would seem. At the look on Rey’s face, Leia softened a bit. 

“If Ben’s father chooses to give you any information, that’s up to him. I think you should be ashamed of yourself. And if Ben chooses to forgive you for being such a selfish, foolish girl then you should thank your lucky stars.”

Rey sat in her chair, eyes cast downward and nodded, feeling and looking like a chastised child. She couldn’t hold back anymore. It was all too much. At that moment the damn burst and she buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking as she tried to hold in her sobs. 

“Shit,” Leia sank into the seat next to Rey. She looked at Han who gave an unhelpful shrug. Leia rolled her eyes at him and patted Rey awkwardly on her shoulder. “Fuck. Ok, stop crying. Maybe I was a little harsh. He’s my only kid, so I’m kind of overprotective, I guess.” She sighed as Rey lifted her tear-stained face up and looked at her. “Get a hold of yourself. He’s on Fairfield Drive. 376 Fairfield. Good luck.” She shot a narrow-eyed look at Han and left the office, shaking her head. 

“Think you can remember that, kid? Or should I write it down?” Han asked, already picking up a pencil. 

“No, I’ve got it. Thank you so much, Mr. Solo. I really appreciate it.”

“Tell him to come by next week. I want to have him photograph the planes for the new website.”

Rey gave a shaky laugh. “I will. Thank you again.” 

Grabbing her bag, Rey exited the building and got back in her car, knowing that whatever could possibly happen next, it wouldn’t be half as scary as dealing with Ben’s mother.

* * *

A short time later, Rey found herself knocking on a door painted a bright white in contrast to the gray blue color of the house. There was a postage stamp sized lawn in front and a small porch with a swing, perfect for sitting in the evenings listening to the birds and the sounds of children playing down the street. She was lost in the fantasy and didn’t notice Ben had opened the door until he spoke. 

“What are you doing here, Rey?” His face was hard, his eyes blank. Fear and worry began to settle on Rey like a heavy fog. 

“I came because...I owe you an apology.”

“Ok.” The silence stretched until it was taut and almost painful. Rey could feel the tears pricking her eyes. She always seemed to end up crying around him. Really, she was going to need a strong drink at the end of the day. She looked him straight in the eyes and made her move. 

“I have something for you. May I come in?”

Silently, Ben stepped aside to let her in. The house was small, minimally furnished, but tidy and comfortable, as if it had been decorated by a mother who thought this was what a bachelor pad should look like. Rey liked it and wished she could curl up with him on the large sectional couch. Once again, Ben interrupted her thoughts with a question. 

“How did you find me?” His question had an edge to it. Almost an accusation. 

“I, um, looked up your father's flight school. I went there to ask if he could help me find you. He was very nice. He wants you to come take pictures of the planes. Your mom was there, too. She…,” Rey let out a harsh laugh, “she’s not my biggest fan. She told me I should be ashamed of myself and that if you forgave me for being such a selfish, foolish girl that I should thank my lucky stars. I have to hand it to her. She didn’t hold back.” 

“Well, that’s my mom for you,” Ben shrugged. 

“It’s understandable,” Rey conceded. “I wasn’t exactly forthcoming about anything. I  _ was  _ selfish. And I’m sorry, Ben. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I didn’t see my situation with...well with  _ him _ ...as a lie, because in my mind it was already over. But it  _ was  _ a lie. At least, my part about him was a lie I guess because I didn’t tell the whole truth. But I didn’t lie about how I felt. About you...I mean…about what we…” She could feel the heat of Ben’s gaze on her. She knew he was looking at her and still she couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes. She shuffled nervously.

“And you. You were so kind and generous, and you didn’t take me as seriously as I took myself. Everything about you was real and honest and it made me want to be a better person.  _ You _ . You make me want to be a better person. So I wanted to bring these to you myself.” She handed Ben the signed contracts in a large manila envelope. He took them from her without a word and she continued her explanation. “I needed to let you know in person that it’s ok to use the pictures. And it’s ok if you never want to see me again. Even if I can’t be a part of your life, I really want you to know that you will always be the best part of mine.”

Voice breaking on her last word, Rey turned to leave. Ben pulled the contracts out to see that she had signed all of the release forms allowing the use of her image in the magazine. She had come all this way to do this for him and now she was leaving. Sighing, he tossed them on the table and grumbled, “Shit.” He ran up behind her, placing his palm on the door to shut it, caging her body before she was able to leave. 

“Rey, wait.”

Rey stopped and turned slowly, looking at Ben, and he felt the heat from her body so close to his. When she finally met his eyes he could see the hope there, mixed with her tears, and it tore at him to be the one to make her cry this time. But there was so much he still didn’t understand. 

“I need to know something,” he said softly. “I need to know why you did it. Why did you leave that note and that money? What did you mean by that? Because let me tell you, coming back after…” he faltered there when he saw her cheeks go pink at the memory of what had come before the end. “Seeing the empty room and all traces of you gone except for three hundred dollars and a note that said thanks for the ride was a pretty low blow. So I…”

“I’m sorry, what? What are you talking about? Three hundred dollars?! I didn’t leave any money!” Rey’s face reddened, this time for a different reason. Poe. That bastard. Any guilt she had left for her scene at the party completely vanished when she realized just how terrible he had been. “Ben, that was not me. I left you a note in your bag to call me. And that’s it. I swear.”

“What?” Ben was completely confused. He moved away from her then. He ran his hand through his hair yet again, the gesture his one tell for when he was nervous or confused. It made Rey’s own hands itch to smooth it down for him. To feel the thick, soft strands again as they fell through her fingers. 

“I left you a note. In your bag. Did you not see it?” Rey watched as Ben abruptly turned and walked quickly out of the room, leaving her standing alone by the door feeling unsure about what to do next. Should she stay or cut her losses and just go home? Was this why he hadn’t called? Did he really think she would try and pay him off?

She didn’t want to let herself hope as she stood there by the door waiting for whatever would happen next to manifest. She heard Ben rummaging around on the other side of the house before everything got eerily quiet for a moment. She was about to call out to him when she heard him instead. 

“Son of a bitch!”

Rey stood frozen by the front door not knowing what to do when she saw Ben come out of what must have been his bedroom. He came towards her, quicker than she would have expected. Her heart began to race as he got closer, the intensity in his eyes almost took her breath away. Reaching her, he placed both hands on the sides of her face as his mouth crashed down on hers in a deep and powerful kiss. Rey grabbed at him, holding on for dear life as he tasted her, his tongue sneaking into her mouth to tangle with hers. She moaned as he softened and slowed down. Breaking the kiss, Ben gently rested his forehead on hers. She could feel the tears spilling out onto her cheeks and she was horrified when the first words out of Ben’s mouth were, “I’m so sorry.”

“What? No!” Rey shook her head and grabbed his hands in hers, holding tight, words pouring out of her in a rush. “No, Ben, it’s my fault. I was so stupid and then he wiped out my phone and I couldn’t contact you and he was going to make me go through with it and he threatened you and I was so scared. And then Jannah came to that stupid party and told me how you were going to give up everything because of me. And I was so angry because I had made such a mess.” The tears were coming fast and hard, Rey’s hiccuping and sobbing interrupting her confession. “And I saw him with someone else and I didn’t care. So I said screw it and left. I left. But I did it right this time. Well maybe not right. But official. It’s over officially because the only person I wanted to be happy with was you.”

Ben watched wide eyed as Rey stood there a babbling mess of tears. He would have to thank Jannah for her interference. She never did listen to him. He reached out and placed a finger over Rey’s lips to quiet her. 

“So he's the one who wrote that note and left that money?”

Rey nodded.

“And he messed with your phone so you couldn’t call me?”

Another nod.

“And I missed seeing this note,” he held her handwritten note in his hand up for her to see, “for a week. And you broke off your engagement, at your own party, because of me?”

“Yes.” Rey had nothing left. She was drained of energy, exhausted from emotion, and scared that her whole life rested on what Ben was going to say next.

“Ok,” he said. “Ok. So then I have two things I want to say.” He held up two fingers. “One. No more lies. About anything. One hundred percent honesty from here on out. About everything. Even if it’s ugly. Deal?”

“Yes. Of course. Yes. What’s the second thing?”

“I control the music on the road trips from now on.” He smiled at her then. That breathtaking, goofy, heartbreaking grin that she adored so much. She threw her arms around his neck, and buried her face in his chest, sobbing into his shirt. After a moment she looked back up at him. 

“You’re lucky I like you, Solo. Not even a few Taylor songs in the rotation?” she teased as she wiped the tears off her cheeks. 

“Maybe a few,” Ben agreed. “Alexa,” he shouted, “play Taylor Swift.”

Rey laughed and then froze as the first lyrics from the song began to play through the Bluetooth speaker.

_ No nothing good starts in a getaway car… _

“Alexa skip!” Rey gave Ben a sheepish look. “Maybe not that one,” she giggled. 

“Maybe not,” he laughed. Maybe nothing good had started in that borrowed, old, cramped convertible, but as Ben pulled her closer for another kiss, Rey was pretty sure that something good was starting right now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! xoxo


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